Bad Born Blood - Chapter 17
Chapter 17
The tense silence between Kinuan and me grazed the edge of my throat like a sharp blade. It was an uncomfortable situation.
There was little I could do out of my own discretion. It hadn’t even been a few days since I’d received orders from the Imperial Guard Commander, Halas, and here I was.
“You’ve taken on the mission but lack any real knowledge, so you can’t even determine a direction for your response, can you?”
Kinuan commented casually. I maintained a blank expression.
Kinuan could see right through a person’s inner thoughts with even the smallest gestures or words. His insight was practically mind-reading.
Withholding information entirely had been my solution. However, even that was a clue and information to Kinuan.
I couldn’t help but be swept along unilaterally, with no control. The information imbalance was severe. Right now, I knew nothing about the situation. Inside, words of disgust rose like nausea.
“Luka, I don’t intend to blame you. Obeying orders from a superior is only natural. In fact, your judgments are consistently correct. Watching you pick the very best options from a limited set of choices is nothing short of impressive. But…”
With his back to me, Kinuan turned his head to look at me.
Not wanting him to read my thoughts, I simply closed my eyes. This wasn’t a good decision, either.
“…It’s easy to read the flow of someone’s thoughts when all they do is pick the right answer. You have a strong drive and a considerable desire to achieve. Yet, with discernment and restraint, you don’t become a problem for your superiors. You’re the very model of an exemplary soldier as the Empire demands. Truly, you’re a fitting Irregular who has risen from a two-digit orphanage.”
It was not, by any means, praise. That was how it felt.
I shouldn’t look into Kinuan’s eyes. I forced myself to keep my eyelids shut.
Eyes contain a wealth of information. The direction of emotions could be determined by the movement of pupils in response to spoken words, and their depth and intensity revealed by the flutter of eyelids and the contraction or dilation of pupils.
Kinuan spoke softly. His voice was rich yet gentle.
“Don’t think all of this is merely a coincidence. Consider first whether approaching me was even your own choice. Since the moment you began using ballistic control techniques without any auxiliary computation device, the higher-ups must have started their preparations. A fellow Irregular with an aptitude for the Akies combat techniques appeared, after all.”
I couldn’t hide my agitation. My body laid bare the full stir of my emotions.
…All of this is my free will. During a reconnaissance mission, I encountered a formidable enemy. I thought I needed more power. So, I went through the instructors’ records to find someone special who could assist with my training.
All of this was a choice made by my own will. No one else influenced my decision. That’s what I believed.
“It was my choice.”
Unable to hold back, I opened my eyes and mouth.
“Luka, everyone in this world is a slave to someone. The only difference is whether one knows they’re a slave or not. Free will is nothing more than a product of imagination—a delusion that we’ve chosen something by ourselves.”
Kinuan stood up, gripping his knees. He extended his hand toward my shoulder.
Suppressing my combat reflexes, I allowed his hand to make contact with me. Allowing physical contact with someone I was on high alert against was difficult for me. I’d been trained that way all my life.
“Go back. If you want to report this to Halas, feel free.”
I thought over how I’d report this to the Guard Commander. Kinuan’s words were difficult. However, one thing was clear.
‘Deeply subversive.’
If I reported Kinuan’s words as they were, the higher-ups would likely order me to undergo another psychological evaluation. Frankly, I wasn’t confident I’d score as highly as before. I was shaken now.
And it wasn’t just because of Kinuan’s words.
‘Ilray.’
He was also an influence.
I followed Kinuan as he walked ahead. We didn’t exchange a single word on the way back.
* * *
Ilray was a subversive element.
Though he was my friend, that was an undeniable fact. In the past, I would’ve kept my distance from Ilray.
Ilray sometimes questioned the Empire’s system and voiced his objections. I had no intention of reporting him, but I certainly didn’t plan on agreeing with him, either.
‘The Empire recognized me.’
I’d risen from the very bottom to this point because of the Empire’s system. No matter what anyone said, I was a beneficiary and living proof that the Empire’s structure was sound.
Not everyone could live in abundance. Those who created more value and the elite soldiers who defended the Empire from external threats naturally deserved more.
Those with abilities essential to the Empire received better treatment. What possible objection could there be to this?
Still, it was true that I’d been affected by negative influences lately.
“Hoo…”
I sat in seiza and meditated. I organized everything that had happened, recalling Kinuan’s words over and over.
‘Reporting what happened with Kinuan is the right thing to do.’
Hesitating could lead to needless misunderstandings. Deciding not to report was not a choice I could make based on personal judgment. As a soldier, it was my duty to report exactly what I’d experienced to my superiors.
‘But they’re going to conduct a psychological evaluation on me.’
There was no avoiding the suspicion that I might have been infected by subversive thoughts.
I’d undoubtedly score lower on the psychological evaluation compared to before. If my score hadn’t been high from the start, it wouldn’t be an issue. But a decrease wouldn’t be good news; it would indicate that I was becoming contaminated by harmful ideas.
It was truly a bothersome situation.
‘Did Kinuan plan for this too?’
I was gradually starting to understand the man named Kinuan. He wasn’t an old soldier lost in memories and the past. Nor was he a beast whose claws and fangs had fallen away.
Kinuan was still a fierce, blazing inferno. He was merely holding back his flame-like mane, hiding it beneath the surface.
That’s precisely why even the Guard Commander was cautious of Kinuan. I couldn’t know the fundamental reason for that, but it was clear enough.
‘For now, it’s best to stay close to Kinuan and learn the Akies combat techniques. They may not be efficient, but they’re not without their benefits.’
If I trained to the point where it affected my brain function, it would take a long time. When that moment approached, I wouldn’t need anyone to tell me to stop using the Akies combat techniques; I’d stop on my own.
‘If I want to report to the Guard Commander, I need to be ready to pass the psychological evaluation.’
The decision was made. I opened my eyes.
“Ilray, I need some of your time.”
I immediately called for Ilray.
* * *
Ilray was engaged in simulation training. He was wearing a helmet adorned with cables, with electrodes attached to his limbs and bare upper body.
Periodically, Ilray’s body twitched. His muscles spasmed as if he were genuinely moving.
He seemed to be fighting hard in a virtual reality environment. At a glance, the training intensity looked extremely high. He’d be exhausted once it was over.
‘It’s unusual to see Ilray training so diligently.’
Ilray generally took his training lightly. Becoming a soldier had never really been his interest. He was simply covering for his lack of passion with his natural talent.
‘Even though Ilray grew up in a two-digit orphanage, he’s the type who’d still be chosen as a cadet for the Imperial Guard.’
I had fought my way up with everything I had. So, watching Ilray sometimes made me angry.
Chiiiik!
Steam leaked from the edges of Ilray’s simulation helmet. The hydraulic cylinders moved, and the helmet lifted upward. The electrodes attached to his limbs detached and fell away.
“Hah, hah…”
Ilray was breathing heavily, his face drenched. Sweat poured down from his chin and hair like rain. He looked as though he’d been running for hours.
“Here, drink this.”
As I entered the training room, I tossed a drink over to him. Ilray reached out and caught it without even looking. His pupils were unfocused.
I waited until Ilray came to his senses. It took some time for a brain immersed in virtual simulation to return fully to reality. The mind had to gradually reorient itself to the real world.
‘Tricking the brain.’
Entering a simulation is essentially tricking the brain. Returning to reality is the process of realizing it’s been deceived. Once you’ve experienced it a few times, you know it’s not a particularly pleasant feeling.
“Ah, sorry to keep you waiting.”
Focus returned to Ilray’s pupils. He stood up from his seat, wiping off the sweat with a towel. It took him less than a minute to regain his sense of reality—two or three times faster than the average cadet. This meant his mental resilience was exceptional.
“Well, I’m the one who called you here because I needed you. It’s only fair to wait. It’s not urgent, so go freshen up.”
I spoke as I watched Ilray head toward the shower room. Like other cadets, Ilray was well-built. The artificial skin on his prosthetic limbs blended seamlessly, and the joint connections were barely visible.
Inside the shower room, loud noises resounded. It was an automated system that handled everything from washing to drying on its own if you simply stood still.
Ilray came out soon after. He pulled on his cadet uniform piece by piece from where it hung on the wall.
“Haha, what’s the occasion? You coming to find me first is almost as nice as a birthday gift.”
He tugged down his shirt around his chest. Judging by his smile, he seemed to have completely shaken off the simulation fatigue.
“Let’s talk outside.”
With a nod, I exited the simulation training room first. It was quiet outside. Over the wall, I could see the younger cadets on the training field.
“The weather’s great. Maybe I should’ve called a girl and gone out.”
Ilray threw out the suggestion, though it clearly wasn’t serious.
“Ilray, so you actually train on your own. I’m impressed.”
“Well, you totally crushed me last time. That really got under my skin.”
So, that’s what it was. I guess Ilray was a guy, after all. It was only natural to feel competitive when you suddenly get beaten by someone you thought was on the same level.
“Last time, you mentioned that prestigious families manipulate the selection tests, right?”
I began the conversation. To think I’d be the one to start discussing something so subversive. Two or three years ago, it would’ve been unimaginable.
“It’s something everyone knows in secret. Anyway, anyone unqualified won’t make it through training and gets filtered out.”
For reference, the selection tests also include a psychological evaluation.
“How did you pass the psychological evaluation?”
I didn’t beat around the bush. I asked him directly. It was the kind of question one might argue shouldn’t be asked.
‘You manipulated the selection test.’
It was practically the same as saying that out loud. The psychological evaluation isn’t something so loose that it can be passed with deception or lies.
And I didn’t believe that Ilray had passed the evaluation through entirely legitimate means.
Ilray narrowed his eyes, looking at me sideways, only moving his pupils. He didn’t answer immediately. He was likely trying to understand the intent behind my question.
Without waiting for Ilray’s response, I spoke again.
“If there’s a way, teach me now. I might need it soon.”
I was openly revealing my own subversive intent.
“I won’t ask why you’re asking this, Luka. If it were something you could say, you would’ve told me by now.”
“It might sound strange to say this when asking about manipulating the psychological evaluation, but… this benefits the Empire.”
I emphasized that my loyalty hadn’t changed. I wanted to avoid any unnecessary misunderstandings.
Ilray paused, then slowly moved his lips to respond.
“Present a patterned version of yourself to the outside world, and place your true self as an observer within. That way, you can get through the psychological evaluation.”
I tilted my head slightly, mulling over Ilray’s words. Before long, I frowned.
“…What kind of nonsense is that?”
Ilray laughed as though he’d expected my reaction.