Debut or Die - Chapter 146

Episode 146

“Come on~”

The sound of the shutter rang. Testa, who was sitting on the pool, smiled at the camera with her arms around her shoulders.

Of course I was included there too.

“The picture looks good. You worked hard~”

“Thank you!”

While he came all the way to the US, he is filming a summer package.

The one that combines pictorial and simple reality video content.

And in this video content, a roommate was assigned under the request of the production team to ‘take a combination that we haven’t seen before’.

This means that Park Moon-dae and Ryu Cheong-wu ended up sharing the same room.

Oh, I’m betting on the end.

“Mundaeya towel.”

“… yes.”

He grabbed a towel and wiped his neck.

My stomach rumbled.

‘after.’

I try to restrain myself as much as possible, but I don’t know if this will be caught on camera or not.

‘… Damn it.’

I know.

There is nothing wrong with Ryu Cheng-wu.

But what do you mean when you think of X? Every time I see that… … that reminds me

Thanks to this, the roommate content is at the level of complete devastation. I can’t even talk properly in my room.

This was my limit.

I just hope the rumors of a discord at Morro Garden won’t come out. first… … Once I go back to Korea, it will get better once I get out.

‘… … Going crazy.’

As soon as the break time was announced, I got up from my seat.

After a while, I thought I’d make my roommates ride some kind of water slide, so I thought I’d stay away for a while.

But it got stuck again.

“There… .”

“why.”

“This one.”

Seon Ah-hyun, who followed, held out a takeout glass. It contained a steaming drink.

Seeing that he had a glass in his hand, it must have been handed out by the staff.

“… … .”

I took a glass If you don’t answer, I’ll keep talking.

Seon Ah-hyun did not leave even after giving her a drink and sat down on an obscure street.

However, instead of talking to him, he sipped his drink while glancing at me.

It was quiet.

“… … .”

I lost strength in my shoulders.

I brought the hot drink to my mouth as I sat on the flower bed.

‘It was hot chocolate.’

it was dirty

* * *

After riding the water slide across the shark aquarium, the contents of gathering and exchanging questions and answers proceeded.

It was tolerable.

“Okay~ Then let’s pick a question!”

Big Sejin smiled and took a question out of the box.

“Hmm, since it’s ‘the member I’ve become closest to recently’, I can’t get a few votes for this. I am! Because we’re originally close friends~”

Let’s finish quickly.

“I am Sejin Lee.”

“omg! Moondae You depend on me a lot lately? What a thrill! I will also choose Mundae~”

Keun Se-jin, who changed his posture in an instant, smiled and patted his back.

“So, what about our Eugene?”

“It’s Bae Se-jin hyung! I like roommates.”

I moved on to the next person right away, so I don’t have to say more. I answered in a moderately funny way, so it won’t seem strange.

“Hahaha, is it me again?”

The laughter and chatter continued for a long time.

After a few questions… towards the end of it.

The last question came out.

“This is the last question card. ‘What was the difficult life experience you overcame?’ Hmm seems like a question that can come up with a lot of examples.”

“… Ah~ Is it a bit gloomy for the last one? How about a chance to pick another one?”

“… ? I think it’s meaningful and good!”

The question and answer returned with Kim Rae-bin’s answer.

… From Liu Cheng-wu.

“Well overcoming experience. Actually, the reason I quit archery was… It wasn’t voluntary. I heard there was a car accident while on a family trip when I was young.”

stop.

“It was because of the aftereffects at that time.”

… no i’m filming Let’s think differently.

“But because I met you guys and was able to debut and promote like this, I can just accept the turning point in my life. thank you guys Thank you Lover!”

“great!”

“… Is it okay if I talk about this?”

“Haha, it seems like this is the first time I’ve done this in front of a camera, but since the fans will see it, I tried it.”

“Oh, Chungwoo-hyung, your experience is too strong~ Let’s just surrender and choose a new one, right? Because Eugene has to pick one too!”

“Pick me!”

I feel like throwing up.

“… Moondae Park!”

“for a moment. restroom.”

I got off the couch and left the light-filled room. I ran down the dark hallway and entered the bathroom.

“Huh.”

Fortunately, nothing came up the throat. no, aren’t you happy? If you focus on the action, you can stop thinking… … .

“shut up.”

I turned on the water in the sink and hit my head.

Cold water was comfortable.

“… Moondae!”

“Mr. Moondae, are you okay?”

“brother!”

I heard a call outside. It was fortunate that it was self-produced content. If it was a general broadcast, it couldn’t be fixed.

‘I have to go.’

But I can’t take my head off. wait a little longer… little bit more… .

“stop.”

I lifted my head out of the water.

Then, after wiping off the water, I opened the bathroom door.

A few staff and members were standing outside the door.

“… sorry. I’m a little upset.”

“no. Are you okay? Can I shoot now?”

“… … yes.”

Big Sejin intervened.

“Park Moon-dae. He said it would be okay if we delayed filming here. If you need to rest… … .”

“It’s the same anyway. just do it.”

After I wiped off the remaining water, I continued shooting.

And this time it was finished without any major problems.

“See you again Lover~”

But I realized.

That this is going to be a fucking big deal.

‘We need to come up with measures.’

In the evening, the full-fledged shooting was finished.

Instead of going back to Liu Cheng-wu’s room, I went to the garden behind the hotel to sort things out.

First of all, my condition is openly PTSD. There is no room for further discussion.

The problem is that I thought this would subside over time, but now that it has reached this point, I am skeptical about how long it will take until then.

‘… There is no answer.’

If it took more than two or three months for my recovery, there would be problems with future testa activities.

So, I have no choice but to hope that it will be possible to restart even if I die from a status abnormality.

‘… It’s more of a problem to think that it’ll be okay even if it’s all over.’

It was clear what had happened to his mind. I sighed.

Giying-

At that moment, the smartphone in my pocket vibrated.

When I took it out and checked, I saw a call coming from an unexpected name.

[VTIC Cheongryeo senior]

It was Cheongryeo.

“… … After “

Usually, I just don’t get it. But now I’ll have to get some.

I can’t help but ask if you’ve ever received status ailments like this X.

“… hello.”

When I answered the phone, a slightly puzzled voice answered.

-Hmm, I didn’t expect to receive it right away.

“yes. okay. What’s the matter?”

-It’s been a while since I contacted you, so don’t be so… I’m doing great?

“If you don’t have any business, I will start with my business.”

– Haha yes.

“Have you ever seen anything like an illusion?”

-… illusion?

“On a mission.”

-… … .

There was no word on the other side of the phone for a while, then an answer was heard.

– Oh, what’s the problem?

“… … !”

-sexual? company? No, it’s not like that… Is it something more uncontrollable? So what about human relationships?

“… … .”

– It’s a human relationship.

What’s up with all these babies?

– Sounds like a stressful situation, um… … If I say it, it’s more stressful, so I’m giving you advice.

He must have thought I was seeing an illusion because of my stress.

If so, this bastard has never received any status abnormality compensation.

advice.

“do.”

-is it so?

uh yes Anyway, I don’t think I’ll think about anything I hear from him now.

Let’s talk about restarting.

Then, a calm voice came from the other side of the phone.

– You don’t have to be stressed.

“… … .”

-If you go back to the beginning anyway, the emotional consumption you are doing now has no meaning. just… Except next time. I think so.

“… … .”

– Because it will disappear anyway.

… that it is gone

I made a clear assumption for the first time.

Let’s say you can really go back.

Let’s assume that if I fail too, I will go back to the 20-year-old Park Moon-dae’s birthday.

So, until now, 22-year-old Park Moon-dae has become something that never happened and is trying to make it again from scratch.

Having done it once, I’m sure it’ll be comfortable. If you bring even one lottery number, you can live in a safe place from the beginning.

And I could have done better from the start. already know it

Avoid all the tiring and embarrassing things that happened from the first filming of < Azusa > to after debuting, and make a group with better members… … .

‘no.’

… I didn’t want to.

It’s funny, but even if you overcome all status ailments like that… .

I didn’t think I would like it more than I do now.

All the hardships and annoyances made with these young snoring people… It’s because I’ve come to think of it as my achievement.

And even if I did it again, it could never have the same meaning as it does now.

Right now, of course, things seemed a little goofy. Still, because of this, it was not right to give up now.

My head has cleared up a bit.

I opened my mouth.

“It could disappear, so I’ll have to do better.”

-… … that.

“Thanks for the advice, senior.”

– You’ll regret it.

“What are you going to do? who wouldn’t do anything Then let’s go in.”

I hung up.

And I thought.

‘This bastard is helpful too.’

Surprisingly, it seems that Lee Seong, who had left the house, returned to Cheongryeo through a phone call.

So let’s objectively find the best option for the current situation.

If there is no sign of recovery at this rate… … There is only one answer.

‘Cessation of activities due to health problems.’

In my experience, if you take medicine and live in seclusion by yourself for about a month, you will feel better. This is better than rumors of discord.

What if the company refuses… I have no choice but to put up with rumors of discord.

If you explain to the others that if you look roughly at Ryu Chung-woo’s face, you’ll become a psychopath, they will eliminate the point of contact between Park Mun-dae and Ryu Cheong-wu as much as possible.

It might be uncomfortable for each other, but it’s the company’s fault for catching the guy who wants to recuperate, so I have to tell the company to protest.

Still, I want to do as little damage as possible, so I hope the company accepts the cessation of activities.

‘Is this enough?’

I left the garden and started back to my room.

Now that I’ve calmed down a bit, I thought it would be possible to say hello to him.

‘I will somehow endure until this summer package shoot is over.’

There’s no other option, and when I leave tomorrow, all I have to do is pick the ending cut and it’s over.

It’s enough to be patient.

But when I opened the door and entered, I saw an unexpected sight.

“… I’m here?”

Liu Chengyu was sitting in a chair with a bottle of wine overflowing on the table.

“… … .”

I slowly backed out, walked out the door, and closed the door… … .

“I took all the cameras. You can drink.”

“… … .”

At that moment I realized that I was desperate for a drink.

‘Damn it.’

I know that drinking alcohol in this situation won’t do you any good. however… … .

“ruler.”

I reached out and took the bottle. and took the top

I just put it in my mouth.

It was only then that I realized that my snout was shaking. There was the sound of teeth snapping against the mouth of the bottle.

“… … .”

I turned around and continued to pour the drink down my throat.

I had no idea.

Then a voice was heard.

“What are you putting up with me?”

“… … .”

“I’m just holding back because I’m afraid that if I try to hold it in and explode it, I might end up in an irreversible state. Right?”

I heard the sound of carbonation leaking.

“Just tell me. Because I don’t get hurt by things like this.”

So even if I tell you shit, you don’t know.

This… Isn’t this a situation that can be understood with common sense?

Not even this kid did anything wrong.

Seeing as I didn’t even know his name in the first place, he’s a distant relative with whom I don’t know much. The Poongsan Ryu family did a lot of things together, so they must have gone together.

‘And since the kid was in such a big accident, his parents wouldn’t have had time to worry about other things. So I didn’t even see him at the funeral… … .’

I put the drink down my throat again.

I couldn’t stand it X-foot.

Picked up a new bottle. A calm voice was heard again.

“… good. Then speak only within what is acceptable to you. I will never tell you.”

“… … .”

“I won’t even say that it’s a company or a hospital.”

At that moment, an unexpected sound came out of my mouth.

“Because I envy you.”

“?”

“I’m jealous.”

And as I spoke, I realized at the same time.

I was jealous of this kid.

If I got hurt because I went on a trip that day like Ryu Chung-woo, I hope my parents won’t go to that damn pension to catch the ambulance with me.

It wasn’t simply because he was reminded of the accident, but he hated this bastard.

Seeing her talk about the greatest luck in her life as an ordeal made her stomach twist.

“I live with my parents being fine and doing everything I want to do… i envy you.”

“… … !”

I put down my drink and took a deep breath.

I said crazy things like this… … Strangely, I felt refreshed.

Ryu Cheng-wu did not answer for a long time.

And after a while, he handed me another bottle of wine.

“Did you remember when you were asleep?”

“what?”

“I heard from Rabin. It sounds like you’re sleeping and remembering old memories.”

“… … .”

“I brought up the aftermath of a car accident… It must have sounded full.”

… It seems that they misunderstood that ‘Park Moon-dae’s parents died in a car accident.

It must have felt like the family was whining in front of the person who died in the car accident due to the aftereffects of the car accident.

… It was similar.

“I’m sorry for saying that.”

“You’re not going to apologize.”

“But I feel a little better after hearing the apology. Look, I’ve been talking to you for a long time.”

“… … .”

“It’s Moondae. a little… It’s okay to talk like this comfortably.”

Liu Chengyu opened another bottle.

“A man faces fear and pain… I get a little angry and blame others, but that’s okay.”

“… … .”

“I was like that when I finally quit archery. Perhaps there was no such truth.”

Liu Qingyu smiled faintly.

“But you don’t seem to be able to. It’s okay, so do it now. How can a person live rationally every time?”

“… … .”

I put down the bottle.

My hands trembled a little.

“… I didn’t want to live a hard life.”

I thought I was doing pretty well.

Until I graduated from high school, I received support here and there, and I was good with my hands, so I somehow saved my living expenses.

I thought it wasn’t that bad, but in fact, there was nothing special, so I endured it, so I guess I hated it.

“But I can’t live like that, so I feel like X.”

“… … okay.”

“It’s a bit heavy.”

drank a new drink

I thought it would be embarrassing after saying this, but it turned out surprisingly well.

I don’t know if it’s because of the alcohol… Anyway, for now it was.

I quenched my throat slowly.

I’m not sure because I was drunk, but after that, I think I just lined up words and sentences without context.

Liu Cheng-wu did not particularly intervene, but occasionally reacted.

Then, at the end, he spoke up.

“I decided not to talk about the hospital, but… Still, it would be better to get counseling when I go back to Korea. Together with Ahyeon.”

“… … .”

“I’m saying this not because I look crazy, but because I look tired.”

“okay.”

“I got a lot of money, but I’ll spend some for you.”

“okay.”

I swallowed a drink.

“But it’s still hard to see you.”

Liu Qingyu looked bewildered for a moment, then laughed out loud for the first time.

“Haha, let’s go slowly. It’s not like we won’t see each other for a month or two, so it’s okay to spend some time away from each other.”

“… okay.”

That was right.

“But it’s Moondae. Write some honorifics. Are you suddenly half-talking?”

“… … !”

completely… I forgot.

As requested, I continued to drink while restoring respectful words.

The topic of conversation was slightly off, and we didn’t sit face to face, but it wasn’t too awkward.

I found out the next day that the bottles were all room service and were charged crazy prices, but it wasn’t too bad.

And after returning to Korea, fortunately, a new schedule was waiting for me to spend time alone in the middle of the schedule.

It was a personal appearance that I had been putting off because I was coming to America.