I Will Live As An Actor - Chapter 35

I Will Live as an Actor Episode 35 When

the light of a fishing lamp illuminates the night sea and the sound of crashing waves bathes the harbor, the beam of light from a lonely lighthouse heads towards one place.

“My heart is already pounding!”

The people of Namhang, who are watching the Drama Awards, are filled with anticipation. Isn’t that also true, the boy who is said to be the son of Namhang is appearing on live broadcasts across the country? The unique salty smell of a boat flows from the face after a hard day’s work, but there is no sign of fatigue. It’s really cute to see everyone gathered together with something to eat.

“If Yeongguk gets swept away with all the awards, the rest of us will be disappointed!”

“That’s right! Even in my opinion, it’s bad! Yeok-Kuk did a good job, so if he doesn’t give me any offense and just wipes his mouth, I won’t be left alone!”

“Still, I’m a child actor, so I wonder if I should give him the award he deserves.”

“Mr. Yang, please shut up about that Choi! Anyway, there’s something going on in Chochi. Aida, come to work! I’ll personally fix Dandi!”

The merchants’ eyes all turn in the direction where the cold water is pouring in. It was then.

“What about England? England is here!”

Just like the title of the song, “Unexpected Stage Girl,” the pure song touches people’s hearts. Moreover, the technique is so lyrical that it is as deep as the lingering sound of the night sea. Look, not only Namhang beyond the cathode ray tube but also those sitting in the audience at the awards ceremony are truly enjoying the stage. It would be a lie if I said I wasn’t happy to see the boy occasionally smiling at the live camera like a seasoned singer.

“Key! That Norma from England learned from me and is really good at singing!”

“What! Hey, you’re so good at saying things without even putting saliva in your mouth. You should speak clearly! That’s what Chimo learned from me. I even taught Yeongguk how to sing a sea shanty!”

“Everyone, shut up! England is here again!”

The merchants, whose noses are wide open, turn their heads to see what Lady Yang has said.

-This little guy is going to become a great actor!

Namhang’s admiration bursts out from the sight of the boy giving his acceptance speech. Who do you resemble that makes you speak so well like Cheongsan Yusu? The merchants were so engrossed in the picture tube that they even forgot to tip their glasses of soju. Even among famous actors, England does not lose its shine. Even more than the sound of a boat docking at the dock, the host’s words that followed made my heart pound.

-It’s time to select the best rookie of the year. Many candidates have been selected for the position. It is expected that it would have been very difficult to select just one person amidst the fierce competition. Then we reveal it! Rookie of the Year Award!

Although no one is saying a word, they seem to be shaking their necks in anticipation. Among them, the British mother holds her calloused hands together and prays.

* * *

‘me?’

I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t dazed. Since I appeared as a child actor, I did not expect any mourning. It’s great that they won Best Couple, but they won the Rookie Award. Yeonsu is already overjoyed, and others, including Park Soo-young, are also happy. Except for one person, Yang Min-jeong, who has a vain look.

“England! Come up!”

I took a step forward at the urging of the famous PD. As I got closer to the stage, my heart was pounding like crazy. The Rookie Award is an award that is as meaningful to me as it is to all actors. Even in my past life, I never received a rookie award. When he started playing minor roles and was listed as a supporting actor, didn’t the label of a used or newbie suit him well? I stood in front of a brightly lit microphone amidst applause. While everyone is waiting for the acceptance speech.

“I don’t know if I really deserve to receive the Rookie of the Year Award. There are so many people I am grateful to.”

The sound of muffled words continues. The famous producer and writer Choi Eun-sook who made such a bold decision, and the filming team who loved me throughout the shoot. I received so much love that I was embarrassed to express my gratitude. However, there is only one person that comes to mind the most. A mother who is still staring at her son in Namhang.

“I grew up in the company of sailors since I was young, so I don’t know the dialect. I know I have to speak in Seoul because I’m receiving an award, but since I’m speaking to my mother, I’ll speak comfortably. My mother knows only me.”

It was the same in my past life. The elderly mother cut out newspaper articles in which her son appeared and neatly gathered them up. I regretted it when I found it in the album that was with the Ssamjit money I found in the closet, but it was already too late. It will certainly still be the same now. Until the day he dies, he will be smiling happily as he looks at his son on the TV screen.

“Mom, I really appreciate you raising me all this time. There was a lot I wanted to say, but I can’t say a word. You’re probably watching me now, but I hope you live happily ever after. This time, I’ll definitely repay you. I miss you the most at this moment.”

He looked towards the live broadcast camera. Feelings of despair arise. Why couldn’t I do this in my last life? Why did I just push my mother away under the shadow of poverty? Even when he won the Best Actor award at the awards ceremony, his mother’s name was never mentioned. That overwhelming guilt made my lips tremble.

“mom.”

I sing it as if I’m back in time when I was young.

* * *

“That was quite English.”

National actor Ahn Joong-hyun briefly nods his head as if he is proud of the boy reflected on the screen. Director Baek Jang-hoon also has a happy smile on his face.

“Brother, do you remember the first time I went to the awards ceremony?”

“You mean you were shaking?”

“No, I was shaking. I was a little nervous and had a stutter. I was just over 30 years old at the time. A guy who had done quite a bit of filming was standing on the awards ceremony stage for some reason and his hands and feet were tingling. “At that time, I experienced that my eyes became as white as a sheet of paper.”

Just because you’re an actor doesn’t mean you can be brave anywhere and anytime. Especially at events such as award ceremonies where past hard work is recognized and celebrated, emotions are bound to come flooding back. However, the boy’s appearance was different. Even though I am emotionally overwhelmed, I am unwavering. Like an old tree that has grown upright.

“I saw a glimpse of the edited version of the scene you are filming in England this time.”

“Did driver Kim show it to you? How was it?”

“I drank a glass of soju. Somehow, a part of my heart felt warm. It was surprising to see a child who had never filmed a commercial film act so naturally. The momentum was both scary and exciting.”

Acting is a profession that is always competitive. Some people compete with actors who have a similar image to themselves, while others compete with themselves. And then it develops.

“It’s already like that, and I’m really looking forward to seeing how it will grow in the future. Brother, why did you say that before? I prefer wildflowers growing in a dry wasteland to sprouts growing in moderately fertile land.”

National actor Ahn Joong-hyun puts down his teacup and explains more.

“Me too. When I saw Young-Kuk, I could tell that he was a child close to the persona that my brother had been hoping for. I am like this too, so you must have high expectations. He is the flower I have been looking for for a long time.”

The last day of the year with falling snow. Just as the old pine trees that grow winding under the tiled roof move in one direction in the winter wind. Baek Jang-hoon and Ahn Jung-hyeon were in common with each other’s thoughts, so that the words “I’m the best friend” are meaningless.

“How wonderful is the scent when wildflowers are in full bloom?”

* * *

“Little girl, you’re the best!”

Park Soo-young welcomes the audience with a thumbs up. A thin line of mascara can be seen under her eyes. The same goes for others. Aren’t they happy about it as if it were their own work? It’s a feeling I’ve never felt in my past life. I was always so crazy about acting that I didn’t even have time to look around. I feel blessed to receive such warm feelings from my colleagues.

‘Can I be this happy?’

I had a doubt. In your past life, haven’t you been so focused on one path and abandoned those around you? It was a time when complex emotions pounded in my heart.

“brother!”

Yeonsu suddenly hugs me. I feel relief from the small hand that holds my shoulder tightly, as if comforting me. Yes, I was telling you that this moment was not a dream. He put Yeonsu down with difficulty and stroked her forehead.

“Seventy times.”

In her past life, Yeonsu, whose face was covered with tear stains, wouldn’t have been an actress who would have been difficult to even face. When I took out a handkerchief and wiped her face, a blush appeared as if it had never happened before. The famous producer and writer Choi Eun-sook looks at this with love, like a parent.

“What the heck! Are you guys really dating?”

“What are you talking about? Wipe away the smudges under your eyes. Then, take off your mourning clothes.”

“Where am I going to get my hair done…”

Park Soo-young is saying that while quickly fixing the mascara that has smudged around her eyes. And like a lie, Park Soo-young’s name was called when selecting the supporting actor award. It wasn’t the grand prize, but isn’t it the greatest honor you can get as a supporting actor?

“sister!”

He jumped up from his seat and hugged Park Soo-young. Her face has lost its usual calmness and is unable to hide her surprise. She went up on stage and cried, shedding more tears than me. After all, isn’t this a place where one’s acting is recognized by everyone? The man in August was overflowing with mourning clothes, as if sweeping up the acting awards. That’s amazing because it was a mini-series that broke box office records on KBC Broadcasting Station.

The New Year’s Eve bell is bound to come to the acting grand prize. Didn’t the relationship that began in the warm, sunny summer reach its peak in the winter when the first snow fell? We were together while listening to the bell ringing to announce the last year. The people of Namhang must also be sharing this moment. Like grains of sand on a white sandy beach stuck together.

“Oppa! What are you doing? Quickly put your hands together and make a wish!”

“wish?”

A training program to join hands and pray with the New Year’s Eve bells ringing. That look is really cute. You can feel the purity in the cute prayer posture. At that moment, the New Year’s Eve bell-ringing ceremony is held beyond the large screen, accompanied by a dazzling sound effect as if firecrackers are exploding. I made a wish as if a clear and pure sound was awakening me to a new millennium.

‘I will live as an actor.’

The resolution is the same as in the past life, but the meaning is different. After the bell rings, I open my eyes and see the faces of the people around me. Happiness is not difficult. Likewise. Just as the endlessly cold winter passes and the warm spring comes, the flashes of the past life pass by and a new life begins to sprout.

And

three years passed.