I Will Live As An Actor - Chapter 68

I Will Live as an Actor Episode 68

‘Ugh, don’t you know me!’

Yeonsu, who is appearing in SBC’s special historical drama, can’t erase her pouty expression. How long have you been waiting for the year-end acting awards? It’s not because of the award. It was because of the anticipation of being able to meet England.

‘They didn’t even know I was appearing.’

He knew right away that England was not interested in the historical dramas he appeared in. Still, you didn’t know it was the same broadcasting company? As proof of this, England’s expression when he received the award earlier was as if he was asking why you were here.

‘How come I haven’t heard from you even once?’

In a way, I didn’t even know that my communication was one-sided. That’s because after meeting at Sehwa High School’s entrance information session the other day, there hasn’t been any contact from England. In the meantime, I consoled myself by saying that I was busy filming a movie. However, he couldn’t help but feel angry because he couldn’t recognize himself even at the acting awards ceremony. In a way, it was natural.

Even when I tried to say hello, there were a lot of people who wanted to say hello to England. Starting from broadcasting station officials to actors. It was impossible for Yeonsu, who was relatively short, to be seen between them.

“How can he be so handsome?”

At that time, another actress who was filming a historical drama together looked at England on the podium and spoke to herself as if she were adoring him. Seeing that, Yeonsu gets angry and says.

“What’s so good about being handsome? To me, you just look ordinary.”

“Really? It’s because you’re still young, Yeonsu. Look at how broad and dependable your shoulders are. And how deep your voice and eyes are. You’re young, but if you’re that young, you’ll definitely make a lot of women cry when you grow up. Oh, Yeonsu, are you crying?”

Before you know it, Yeonsu has bright eyes. However, since it is a place where there are many people watching, she immediately erases her expression like an actress. I could taste blood in my mouth from where I bit my cheek with my molars, but it was better than showing off in disgrace right now.

“When you cry, they say it’s because someone cried. It’s just because dust got in your eyes.”

While Yeonsu wipes the dust from her eyes, England, who won the Best Couple award, continues with his acceptance speech. When his face appeared on the large screen at the awards ceremony, not only the public sitting in the audience but even the actresses focused their attention. Yeonsu asks carefully because she is so focused that anyone would think she was giving her grand prize acceptance speech.

“Are you really popular among British actresses?”

“I told you last time. Among the actresses in my agency, only Jang Young-guk is talked about. These days, she hasn’t been able to do anything because she’s filming a movie, but during the filming of a drama, it’s so hot. No matter how much I want to build friendships, she’s young and I’m very self-managed. “I heard that she doesn’t even talk to other actresses. I heard from a reporter I know that she also criticized Seo Min-hye, who also won the couple award, right?”

“yes?”

“Shh! This is a secret. Secret.”

Although it was said to be a secret, it was probably safe to assume that if she knew, there was no one who didn’t know. Now that I think about it, Seo Min-hye’s expression as she looks at England while giving her acceptance speech seems unusual. Yeonsu sighs internally.

It’s amazing that not only are there many competitors, but all of them are actresses who are famous for their beauty in Korea.

“Should I ask for your number too?”

“No!”

“huh?”

“My sister, the director (producer), said that there is absolutely no dating while filming a historical drama. And there won’t be any personal cell phones for British oppa. I heard the manager gets all the most contact.”

“Really? But how do you know Yeonsu so well? And your brother. No way.”

I am using the fact that we appeared together as child actors three years ago as an excuse to move on. Eventually, after the acceptance speeches, England and Seo Min-hye came down from the podium together. Yeonsu’s expression as she looks at that scene is filled with regret. I think it would have been nice if I had been there. It was then.

Isn’t England, who was coming down from the podium, suddenly changing direction?

“Oh my, you’re coming towards me…!”

The actress sitting next to Yeonsu fusses that England is walking towards her. If it weren’t for a live broadcast, it seems like it would have been okay to change the makeup. At that moment, England, who arrived in front of them, lightly hugs Yeonsu.

There are many cases where close actors exchange greetings after giving their acceptance speeches. But Yeonsu never dreamed that England would come to her. England lightly hugs Yeonsu and explains in a low voice.

“Why are you upset again today?”

As soon as I heard England’s voice, the emotions that were in my heart melted away like snow.

* * *

Just as there are gold, silver and bronze awards in the Olympic Games, so are the acting awards. If you’re an actor, the target is something that no one wishes for. The team of the drama ‘Youth’ cannot shake off their excitement as the number of acting awards ceremonies increases.

“Aren’t you really going to be the target of England at this rate?”

“I don’t even want it.”

“Hey, don’t lie.”

Actress Seo Min-hye implicitly asks this question. But the truth is that I really don’t want it. Considering that the drama Youth clearly created a social syndrome in terms of viewership ratings, it is no different from a work that set a milestone in SBC dramas. But if you look at the quality of the work, well.

‘I’m sorry to writer Hwang, but.’

Although the script is certainly outstanding, it is a work that focuses on women’s hearts. After all, isn’t this work depicting the romance of high school life? Since it is focused on character rather than artistic quality, it is unreasonable to expect a grand prize. But thanks to that, didn’t she earn the title of ‘Nation’s First Love’? Considering that he only played the role of a gangster in his past life, this is truly a huge improvement.

“If England wins the grand prize this time, won’t she be the youngest broadcaster ever to win an acting award?”

“We were selected by the producers for the actor they want to work with, and we also won the best couple award, so it’s not like there’s no chance.”

“That’s right. With this momentum, England might hit a triple later.”

Triple is a word that refers to an actor who has won all the acting awards from all three broadcasting companies. There was only one person in the history of Korean actors who achieved the Triple Crown across all three broadcasting companies, and that was national actor Ahn Joong-hyun.

It may seem light-hearted because he always makes inane jokes, but his status among Korean actors is something that cannot be explained in words. Was it not for nothing that he was given the title of national actor?

That moment.

“We will announce the excellence award.”

In the Olympics, it is an award similar to a bronze medal. While everyone was swallowing their saliva.

“Congratulations to actor Jang Young-guk of the drama Youth!”

My name is called. There is a moment of silence in the audience, followed by inexplicable shouts. The same goes for the drama youth team. The actors looked like they had no idea that I would win the Excellence Award, not even the Best Actor Award. That’s because the drama Youth was such a hot topic among people in their teens and twenties.

After the drama ended, there were many love calls from broadcasters and Chungmuro, but the place that sent me the most love calls was none other than the SBC Drama Department. However, I expected it to some extent because I had clearly refused each time.

Moreover, winning an acting award at the age of 18 was completely ridiculous. Even the excellence award is an issue that should be taken seriously. But Seo Min-hye still looks dissatisfied. It was as if he was disappointed that he had not won the grand prize.

* * *

Last filming site.

“Oh, isn’t it our famous actor, Actor Jang!”

The last day on set is more lively than ever. Starting with the cinematographer, the directors of each part patted their heads with congratulatory greetings. Meanwhile, assistant director Kim Seok-cheol voices his regret.

“I thought England would win the grand prize.”

“Seok-cheol, this bastard doesn’t care!”

“I’ve known that kid since I gave him three hand warmers. He doesn’t have any sense. England, it’s really amazing that he won an Excellence Award at your age. In my life, I’ve never seen an 18-year-old win an Excellence Award at an acting award. ”

“Oh, stop harassing Senior Park. He’s strangling me.”

As if punishing him, the cinematographer puts assistant director Kim Seok-cheol’s neck between his armpits and moves around. Well, actually, I have no regrets about not winning the grand prize.

‘England, I’m really sorry.’

Even at the after-party after the Drama Awards, I was dumbfounded when PD Kim Jin bowed his head and apologized. Didn’t he, who was usually known for being playful and talkative, look very serious and feel sorry?

‘Actually, the director agreed, but the higher-ups were so against it.’

It was only after pouring several glasses of alcohol into Producer Kim Jin’s mouth that I learned about the story behind how I won the Excellence Award.

SBC Broadcasting Station seemed to have opened up the door to exporting copyrights to Japan for future works. And to add lubricant to that path, I, who was the main character of the drama Youth, went to Japan myself to hold an autograph session and appear on TV, but the only answer I got back was rejection, so it was natural that I lost my strength.

Filming must have been a bit busy.

Perhaps that is why, even though the higher-ups at SBC Broadcasting Station were criticized, they were properly criticized.

After the drama Youth ended, there were many contacts in the broadcasting industry, but the one that stood out by far was SBC. As if they didn’t want to miss out on the goose that lays the golden eggs, didn’t they offer a huge amount of money, several times higher than the amount paid for the drama Youth?

However, he flatly rejected the offer from a broadcasting station to do his next project, even paying him a large amount of money, and he also refused a request from his partner, Japan’s TBK Broadcasting Company, to appear on the show. From their perspective, the young guy might have seemed arrogant.

Tsk.

In a way, social relationships play an important role in award ceremonies. But it doesn’t matter. What does the target matter? After all, isn’t this an award that I couldn’t win even in my past life? In some ways, the target was the ultimate goal of my life as an actor. But now it’s different. Didn’t you just promise to live as an actor?

‘Just don’t appear on SBC from now on.’

And since SBC Broadcasting Station ended it that way, all I have to do is do my best. To do that, I had to become a better actor. This means that you must become an actor that any broadcasting company would envy.

‘A priest’s confession.’

And I feel that this work will be a turning point in my life as an actor.

* * *

“Scene No. 120: A Priest’s Confession (告白)—!”

A look of concern is evident on the judge’s face. Isn’t this an incident that caused enormous social repercussions? As proof, several reporters also observed the event.

Who would have known that the serial killer who caused an uproar in Korea was none other than a priest on his way to the priesthood? Although the opportunity to speak was given, the suspect’s lawyer, the public defender, did not say anything.

This is because the suspect continued to exercise his right to remain silent even after being transferred to the prosecution. Moreover, he did not elaborate on the details of the case even to the public defender assigned to him. It would be the reporters observing the trial who would be rather distressed by the fact that they neither denied nor confirmed the decision. It was then.

“Pride, anger, lust, gluttony, sloth, and greed.”

A voice suddenly comes from the suspect’s seat, about 4 meters away, facing the law school where the judge is sitting. It was Father Matthew, still dressed in black robes. The sentence has not yet been confirmed, so he cannot even wear a shroud. Because of this, the robes and priestly robes are facing each other, as if it were a painting that shouldn’t exist.

“How can I look at the sins of the wicked and ignore the inconvenient truth that arises because of them? I am not the one in front of the cross, so I have no intention of exonerating them. Therefore, I punished them with my own hands and put the sins of their own hands on the top of their heads. It will come down again.”

In a godly voice.

“Do you think they want to admit their mistakes and be forgiven for their sins? The voices of appeal crying out to those of you wearing judicial uniforms standing in this cold trial must have been lies, not reflection and repentance, and were only an escape to gain their own exoneration.”

Not only the judges, but also the prosecutors and reporters sitting in the audience cried out. “Why does the world emit so many wicked people without purifying them ?

All of that is due to the weak chains that allow them to stand by and let go.”

The priest wearing black robes raises his head and looks at the judge sitting at the head table.

“Brother, is there really a law?”

When the trial was over and the first sentence was confirmed. The Republic of Korea was once again in an uproar. This was because a young priest was sentenced to death for murdering seven people. Moreover, the priest gave in.

However, the reason the Republic of Korea was in uproar was because of the seven people the priest murdered. . Didn’t various media outlets publish articles about the priest’s remarks at the trial and clearly reveal the sins of the seven people?

[The priest who personally punished the evildoers. Is he a priest or a murderer?]

[Is the sense of debt to the criminal law of the Republic of Korea really there? Where will we head?]

[Does justice exist in the Republic of Korea?]

Time passes. The prisoner sentenced to death sits alone in a solitary confinement, smelling the sunlight shining through a window a little larger than the palm of his hand. In his gaze. Outside the bars, an infinitely clear sky can be seen. He is different from other death row inmates. Rather than yearning for freedom like a bird flying in the sky, he was monologuing only the question of whether he was really on top of those birds.

“Interview with prisoner number 2981.”

Who will be meeting him? I know there is nothing. The hand of the prison guard who is taking the prisoner away is shaking. The prisoner silently holds the guard’s trembling hand. With a look that says there is no need to worry. The prisoner knows what day today is.

Once upon a time, the Republic of Korea became a murderer. It was noisy while dealing with the priest, but didn’t the hot wood fire gradually fade away from people’s attention, just as it became ashes over time? The prisoner silently follows the guards to the execution site.

“Matthew.”

The guards were already there preparing to carry out the execution. Reporters, including the prison warden, and a priest dispatched from the cathedral are waiting for the prisoner. He was a classmate at the seminary where the prisoner was ordained a priest along with the prisoner. Complex emotions are flashing across the face of the bespectacled, kind-looking priest. He said to the priest who was his classmate and who walked the path of becoming a priest together,

“Matthew, no, Mujin. If there is any last thing you want to say, pour it out.”

The prisoner smiles calmly and says,

“Just as the idea of a wicked person is forgotten, the world will forget it with the word forget and will once again stand by the wicked person. That’s why I will be arrogant until the end.”

The bespectacled priest recites a prayer to the prisoner with complex emotions. The prisoner expresses deep gratitude to the guards who have looked after him and looked after him. If anyone who doesn’t know him sees him, he will die. His appearance is so pious that one might mistake him for a priest going to pray rather than to pray.

Soon, his face is covered with a long cloth and a long, thick rope is tied around his neck. He speaks his last words softly in the pitch-black darkness where nothing can be seen. Breathe out,

“Lord, punish me.”