I’m Not That Kind of Talent - Chapter 236

236. Butterfly Effect (4)

What is this? Deon’s expression cooled.

I miss the bed in my room. He was watching the situation with eyes full of regret and approached the still despondent 8th Corps commander to quickly resolve the situation and return to his room.

“I know you lack faith in yourself, but that doesn’t mean you won’t go to war. Just get up.”

“But…”

“And you’ll be good enough, so it’s no use worrying about that.”

Hel, who had been crouching, slowly raised her head. A three-dimensional black shadow whose mouth was not even visible spoke hesitantly.

“Are you serious?”

“okay.”

Deon placed a hand on his shoulder. Red eyes shone earnestly.

“If you don’t trust yourself, trust me. I think you’ll do well.”

“…!”

Hel’s body stiffened for an instant.

He froze to the point where I was worried that he might have turned into a stone statue, but then his body began to tremble. A crying voice came out.

“I understand… I understand…! I will never… disappoint you!”

…I’m impressed.

I can’t breathe for no reason when I see their motivation rising. Deon rummaged in his arms, took out a cigarette, took a bite, and gently closed his tired eyes.

Even with my eyes closed, I can clearly feel the blood that has engulfed my ankles and risen to the top of my ankles. I heard someone whispering in my ear.

─Hypocrite.

“….”

Deon didn’t show it.

I brushed aside the whispering voice calling me a hypocrite and trash and raised the corners of my mouth and calmly answered.

“…okay.”

The eyelids rise and the dull red eyes take in Hell.

Once again, I feel fortunate that Hel is from the shadows. Because the shadow seemed to have a three-dimensional appearance, I was able to avoid meeting his eyes.

Shadows have no eyes. If Hel had eyes, I wouldn’t be able to look him in the eye.

I unconsciously stretched out my hand.

“…Master Deon…?”

A hand hovers around the area where the eye would be.

Hearing the confused voice, he curled his fingers and gently clenched his fists. You can imagine the look in his eyes even without seeing it in person.

Clear, pure, and motivated… These would be what is commonly called extremely ‘humane’ eyes. What would it have been like if you had encountered this in person? Deon easily expected that he would not have been able to hold out.

How can you resist the look in your eyes when the breathtaking innocence is so powerful just by your actions and tone of voice?

“Hell.”

“Yes, Master Deon.”

Instead of opening his mouth right away, Deon smiled faintly at him.

…Except for appearance, what is the difference between demons and humans?

Demons are not ‘absolute evil’ as they are known. Watched closely, they appear to be more pure than humans in some ways.

As my consciousness flowed to that point, for a moment… I had that thought.

‘It would be better if you were really ‘evil’.’

There would have been nothing to get caught up in carrying out the plan, and I would have had less to feel the weight of my sin.

It felt like a black stone that had been staying in a world of white stones rolled into a world of black stones, but it turned out to be a world of gray stones. The feeling of realizing that there is no stone blacker than me and realizing how black I am.

‘…Is it because of the medicine? ‘I feel like it’s all kind of crap.’

I myself don’t know what I’m thinking.

Even if they were truly evil, the situation would not be any different. It’s like carrying out a plan, but the weight of sin must have been pondered over and over again so as not to forget it. You are probably more tired than you are now.

At that point, Deon, who had stopped thinking and put out his cigarette, roughly put out his cigarette and looked at the extremely human-looking demon in front of him. Advice that wasn’t advice flowed out slowly.

“…There was a report that the advance team that went first had trouble because of a trap. Just in case, you should be careful too.”

“Ah…! Yes, I understand!”

─Hypocrite.

A voice speaks and the bloody smell stings my nose. Deon took out a new cigarette and smiled as if responding to the voice.

‘I know.’

***

When Deon Hardt was seeing off the 8th Corps commander, Ed, who would normally be by Deon’s side and assisting him, was walking in the garden.

Hien, who had been watching him from afar, tilted his head.

To others, it may have seemed like normal, but Hien, who had lived his life paying attention to what others thought more than anyone else, could tell. He is depressed.

‘What’s going on…?’

I know that he hates me, so I know that I should be careful to avoid him, but… seeing him for the first time doesn’t make me lose my footing.

Maybe that’s why Hien’s constant snooping around was annoying.

‘Oh, I’m picking something up.’

Ed bent down and picked up a rock from the floor and swung his arm toward where he was.

Wedge! Something passed next to Hien’s head with a sound. At the same time, I could hear the sound of a small plant dying.

“….”

“Get out.”

A voice that sounds like an animal growling, completely at odds with his usual neat demeanor.

It feels like a wounded animal sharpening its blade to hide its weakness. Hien stopped and raised his head, and only when I met his eyes glaring at me did I come to my senses and slowly walk away.

It was then that I heard a sly voice.

“You have a bad temper.”

Ben, holding a visiting bag in one hand, leisurely waves his other hand and steps in between Hien and Ed.

Ed’s face distorted as if he was displeased with his actions, and Hien, who suddenly escaped Ed’s sight, looked confused for a moment and then quickly walked away.

Ed, who was quietly watching the figure quickly moving away, turned his head towards Ben and showed his irritation without hesitation.

“You too, get out of the way quickly.”

“It’s scary. Deon should know this temperament of yours.”

It was a lightly spoken word, but the response it received was fierce.

“…shut your mouth.”

Even so, it is the worst remark for someone who has been sensitive to issues related to Deon Hardt.

The surrounding air sinks coldly. There was life in his voice.

However, Ben, a berserker and doctor who had a war of nerves with the corps commanders, calmly took his place on one side. He casually accepted the offer and patted the seat next to me as if telling me to sit down.

“Don’t be so harsh on me, let’s have a drink with the free demons.”

“What if you don’t have alcohol…”

“Hmm?”

“….”

Ed closed his mouth when he saw a bottle of alcohol sticking out of the visitation bag.

The words “Why did that come out there” were on the tip of my tongue, but I held them back and turned my head to express my refusal to talk.

“Quack.”

“what?!”

In the end, I couldn’t hold it in and ended up spitting out one word.

Ben goes on a rampage, asking why I am a quack. Ed seemed to feel better after looking at him, so he looked at him quietly and added a few words.

“I told you all that there was a bottle of alcohol in the sacred visiting bag. It seems that the attending doctor is treating patients with alcohol these days.”

“…Damn you.”

Ben looked at Ed and the bottle in his hand as if he seriously wanted to hit that head, then sighed and took the bottle.

Ed opened his eyes wide, seeing him in a calmer manner than expected, and fixed his head straight ahead for a moment before opening his mouth after a short silence. A slightly subdued voice spread throughout the empty garden.

“‘Idle demons’… Looks like you’ve become more leisurely, too. Deon-sama has definitely become a hero, so it’s only natural.”

“Yes, I am almost unemployed.”

It was a remark that was more like a self-talk and could easily be taken as an argument, but Ben’s reaction was unusually gentle.

Ed closed his mouth for a moment and then slowly asked a question.

“Aren’t you sad?”

“Well, as a doctor, I’m actually happy. It’s proof that Deon is healthy.”

The problem is mental though.

With a low muttering, he takes out two glasses from his visitation bag and pours them some drinks. As he looked at that, the word ‘quack’ lingered in his mouth again, but this time Ed managed to suppress it.

They took the glass and sipped it together. The long, if short, silence that had flowed between them for a while was suddenly broken when Ben opened his mouth.

“What if?”

“….”

“If the Demon King and Deon come into conflict, whose side will you take?”

“…That’s an impolite question.”

“You said if.”

“It’s not worth answering.”

Ed jerked his head and lifted the glass to his lips. Ben, who was quietly watching the scene, blurted out.

“You are avoiding the answer.”

“….”

“Can we take this to mean that we can’t choose either side?”

“…I am loyal to both of them. I cannot choose either one. In any case, being loyal to Deon is also being loyal to the Demon Lord, so there is no problem.”

“So, isn’t that why we made assumptions based on the premise of ‘what if’? It’s indecisive.”

Ed was about to ask who would you choose in a fit of anger, but shut his mouth in shock as a thought crossed his mind.

“…that family of yours.”

The atmosphere became heavy.

Ben was noticeably silent, and Ed closed his eyes tightly.

…When I thought about why Deon suddenly distanced himself, there was a question that remained unresolved. I was wondering if the current situation was really enough to warrant distancing myself from myself.

What if… really what if.

‘What if there’s really something else I don’t know about?’

The puzzle fits together as if the missing clue was found.

…No, no, no. Speculation should be refrained. Ed, who consciously stopped thinking just before coming to a conclusion, continued speaking with difficulty.

“Does this mean that Master Daeon is considering treason?”

So… are you staying away from me?

In order to restore relationships, we are waiting for the war with the human world to end quickly, but Deon’s attitude may not return to its original state even after the war is over.

I’m trying to act calm, but my fingertips are shaking slightly. What should I do if this speculation is really true? A call was made to the worst assumption that naturally came to mind.

“Answer me.”

“…I assumed the worst.”

Ben, who was quietly looking at him, smiled and shrugged his shoulders.

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be treason. Wouldn’t small disagreements also fall within the scope of confrontation?”

“…Are you serious?”

“okay.”

Our eyes met in the air.

Ed looked into his eyes for a long time and finally sighed. A weak voice asked, as if all its new energy had been drained.

“Then whose side are you going to take?”

“well.”

“Huh, you pushed me like that, and in the end, you too…!”

“I’m your doctor.”

A short word stopped Ed from continuing his speech.

Ben smiled at him, who was quietly looking at me with his mouth closed.

“For the attending physician, the patients in charge come first.”

I once made a fatal mistake.

I dared to suggest alcohol to a patient in charge. Deon’s remarks at the time were so shocking that I still remember them. I could never forget it.

[Think carefully about whose doctor you are.]

[Well… I didn’t even expect it to begin with.]

It was an incident that lost trust as a doctor, so how could I forget it?

I don’t care that he was putting pressure on my chest with his arm at the time. It was okay to hold a dagger to his throat and threaten his life.

However, my identity as a doctor was shaken and my trust was lost. My heart sank at the remark criticizing that.

After that, I promised myself several times that I would never make the same mistake again.

Even though the Demon King is the master of all demons and the one who sent me to Deon, in the end, my patient is Deon, not the Demon King.

Because the attending physician only cares for the patient in charge.

“…That seems like a bit of a dangerous statement.”

“The only thing a doctor can do is for the sake of his patients, so what’s the risk?”

“….”

Ben just smiled, engraving his promise in a corner of his heart.