SSS-Class Suicide Hunter - Chapter 184

Chapter 184

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Translator: Seven ED: Sasha

2.

The goblin race had a very good culture.

The strongest were on top.

If you had any complaints, then you spoke with your fists, not your tongue.

“Let’s clean up first. Seniors.”

And here, I was the strongest.

“Look at the theater. What is this? Are you using spider webs as interior decor? Are you using mold as wallpaper? Aigo. Look at how bad it smells in here. It’s like a trash can. If a customer came in here, they would probably think it was a food disposal.”

-No… But….

“Are you stronger than me? Can you act better than me? Can you use aura better than I can?”

-No….

“Then move that rag, senior. We are not amateurs. A Fire Play is not just about the acting, but also the environment. A person’s surroundings are like a window to their heart. If they think that seniors’ hearts are garbage, then won’t they think the theater is garbage? No, I told you to move the rag. Are you not listening to me? Do you want to get hit?”

I wasn’t the type of person to just use empty words.

A gentleman does not threaten. They just hit directly.

I picked a particularly lazy hobgoblin and provided him with a nice fist massage.

“Do you want to get hit again?”

The actors held their rags while making sad expressions.

Their faces seemed to be saying ‘I thought this elf came to be a junior, but he turned out to be a tiger’.

“It’s fine if it’s wet. That’s a trait of the goblin race. But who would like rotten water and a rotten smell? You’re just lazy. If you try to cover it up by saying [goblins like humid and damp places] and [real actors don’t need to care about the surroundings] then the environment will become a mess. Are you dogs, seniors?”

-J-, junior. I think you’re being too harsh….

“Huh. I’m asking if you’re dogs because it seems that you still haven’t reflected on yourselves. Now I can only think of seniors as sons of dogs. From now on, if I say something, you answer with ‘bark’. Got it?”

-B-, bark….

“Sounds like a weak son of a dog.”

-Bark!

“Good. Now hold those rags in your hand. While cleaning, think of it as cleaning the theater and your minds at the same time. Wipe it hard until you stop being sons of dogs. Got it?”

-Bark!

They cleaned that day, the day after, the next day, and two more days after that.

“Senior. When you draw the bucket from the well, don’t do it without thinking. Instead, raise it while imagining yourself as the servant of a noble. Immerse yourself in the acting. Think of how valuable an opportunity it is. Even as you clean and get rid of the son of a dog in your heart, imagine that you’re playing the role of a servant. Then you can hit three birds with one stone.”

-B-, bark….

The one armed actor removed the rotten water on the floor of the theater, and also dug up the rotten mud.

“Shoveling is not just shoveling. It’s the height of absurdity. Congratulations. You are experiencing the three thousand absurdities for free.”(1)

“Imagine. You are now a warrior on the battlefield. You lost your arm in the war. Okay? The war was so fierce that you lost an arm, but the commander still won’t let you rest. Instead, he told you to dig a moat and build a wooden barrier. One after the other. It’s a warrior’s duty to not retreat from the battlefield, but is it still a warrior’s duty for a one armed warrior to shovel dirt? No. It’s just dirty.”

-Bark… It’s dirty….

“Duty is a beautiful thing. But when you are forced into certain extreme situations, it doesn’t look beautiful anymore. There are times when duty becomes dirty and your virtues become dirty too. In those cases, the more faithful you are to your duties, the stranger it becomes. It’s dirty. It’s strange. It’s weird. Dig the ground, Senior. Scoop the water. Do it while doubting if you’re really a warrior or not. Dig hard.”

-Ahhh… Dig….

The one armed actor followed my instructions perfectly.

“Did you take out the trash?”

-Bark. Senior.

“From now on, you’ll cut down trees to make new chairs. Is that fine?”

-Bark

“They are the chairs that the customers will sit on. Let’s say that the Fire Play will last an hour. The audience might not look at you for an hour, but their butts will be stuck to those chairs for an hour. The only thing in this theater that serves the audience from beginning to end are those chairs. If the chairs are uncomfortable, then the theater also becomes uncomfortable.”

-Bark. I understand the importance of this mission, junior.

“Let’s make new chairs together today. Since we’re doing it, we should create special seats together with the normal seats.

-Bark bark. Loyalty(2).

And.

The theater owner was caught up in the web as well.

-No…. Ssonia, I’ve never seen a theater company do things like this….

His curses were very harsh.

-Now that I think about it, it’s wrong for good-for-nothings to just roam around! Hurry up and clean!

[The members of the theater company, ‘Mud and Dust’, have submitted to your authority.]

[The ‘Mud and Dust’ theater company recognizes you as the shot caller!]

Even after the clean up, they didn’t stop moving.

After hearing the Tower’s voice, I recalled something else that needed to be fixed.

-Hey, Ssonia….

“Yeah?”

-Even if I ask what you’re doing with that ladder… No, is it okay for me to ask?

I climbed up the ladder at the entrance of the theater. With aura exuding from both hands. In front of my face was a sign with the words [Mud and Dust] written on it.

“As you can see, I’m going to change the signboard.”

The theater owner was flustered.

-Ch-, change the signboard?

“Yes. 130 years of tradition is good, but to be honest, our theater company has hit rock bottom. Rather than pretending to be cool with a name like [Mud and Dust], we need a name that appeals to the audience.”

I turned the signboard over.

Luckily, the back didn’t have anything on it.

Injecting aura into my fingernail, I carved letters into the wooden board.

“Okay. That’s dope.”

I was happy with the new signboard.

[Dog Sound Theater Company].

-…….

The hobgoblin looked back and forth between me and the signboard.

-I… Ssonia?

“Say it.”

-We don’t need to use dog sounds, do we? We still have 130 years of tradition….

“I heard from the seniors, theater owner. They said that you owe a lot of money to quite a few elves?”

The theater owner flinched.

“I heard that at least once every fortnight, a different elf comes to collect debts.”

-Th-, those guys. Why would they tell something like that to the junior….

“Tradition isn’t cool. You have to take responsibility for your people first. Attract customers and gain popularity. Actors shouldn’t sleep like shrimp in a dressing room, but should instead have a proper dormitory. Don’t you agree?”

-…….

“I’m still an elf. So I know how to do business better than goblins. Now is the time to have more than just one occasional customer. If you keep going like this, the theater company will not last much longer.”

I took the flyers that were made for the play and headed out to the street.

“[Dog Sound Theater Company]! The [Dog Sound Theater Company] will be performing next saturday evening!”

-Ugor.

The hobgoblins passing on the street snickered as they walked past.

The elf ticket clerks that came out to promote their own theaters also laughed.

-What was that? Dog Sound?

-Where is that?

Good. There was a reaction. At least it was better than complete indifference.

Now that their attention had been obtained, it was up to the ticket clerk to keep it and guide it in the right direction.

“Bark! Bark! There will be a feast of dog sounds that you can’t hear or experience anywhere else in the city! For those who are tired of hearing that Flame! For those who think bad guys should stay bad! You are welcome! There is no other place in the world to find sons of dogs like this! We are the true sons of dogs.”

-Ugor.

-This fairy is really interesting.

-He’s quite cute.

The hobgoblins on the street giggled.

-…….

The theater owner was staring at me blankly.

When I thought that I’d gathered enough passersby, I revealed my trump card.

“Now then! Brave Warriors! This isn’t a normal Fire Play that you could see every day!”

I snapped my fingers.

Ding-!

A cheerful note sounded in the air.

The passersby were stunned by the sound that was similar to a piano key being played.

-Ugo?

-What was that?

The source of the sound was simple. I sent out two threads of aura at the same time and made them collide with each other.

As the aura trembled and the air vibrated, it created a sound similar to that of a piano key.

It was a fairly difficult thing to do with aura, but it was easy for me.

“Behold!”

I made threads of aura strike each other one after the other.

It was a song that even I, who was not familiar with music, could replicate. The Chopstick March.

“Look closely! Even a ticket clerk like me can use aura so superbly! The Dog Sound Theater Company! You can imagine just how amazing our Fire Play will be!”

On a sunlit street beneath the bright sky.

I played music by moving nothing but my fingers.

And it worked.

-Music from striking the air?

-How strange. My goodness.

-Is it really possible to make those sounds with aura…?

The passersby were finally beginning to stop and focus their attention on me. It wasn’t just the passersby, even the ticket clerks of the large theater companies stared at me with wide eyes.

“The Fire Play of the Dog Sound Theater Company will not have a single line! Flame Emperor! Kekerkker! No one will say any lines! Fire Painting doesn’t need words. It’s just flames! Witness the first Fire Play without lines in history!”

-It’s like a stage performance….

The hobgoblins watched my hands move in a flashy manner with wide eyes.

-Could there really be a Fire Play with no lines?

-Well, I don’t think it’s possible to say no words….

Those who were shocked by my aura performance. And those who were suspicious of my advertisement for the Fire Play.

The words [how is that possible?] and [that’s impossible] floated back and forth as their surprise and suspicion increased. The two best emotions for promotion were mixed in the atmosphere at the three way intersection.

“If the actors say even a single line, we will give you a full refund! A full refund for one line! We’ll repay double your entry fee for two lines! We’ll give you our entire fortune for three!”

I smiled as I handed out flyers to the crowd.

“It’s not a Fire Play that you could see every day! If you walk with a flyer, you will be able to bring one guest free of charge! One companion per person for free! It’s not a performance intended to make money, but a performance to give you money! Thank you! Yes, yes, thank you!”

The passersby already couldn’t help but accept the flyers I gave to them.

They were slightly captivated, and they accepted the flyers without fully understanding what was happening.

Before long, I ran out of flyers.

“Thank you! Until the day of the Fire Play, I will be performing here everyday! Of course, these performances are free! Ah, this is a very big deal. Our boss owes a lot of people money, and we’re going bankrupt! We’re desperate!”

I grabbed the theater owner’s hand.

The theater owner was surprised, but still accepted my hand. When the passersby turned to look at them, he even smiled awkwardly.

Good.

“There is no one who can act better than actors who are about to go bankrupt! No one has a home! All we have is the stage! It’s widely believed by the academia that acting skills and wallet situations are inversely proportional. The Dog Sound Theater Company. I will also make an appearance. Next saturday evening! The show is next saturday evening! Thank you! Dog Sound! Next saturday evening!”

I bowed to the crowd.

The theater owner, whose hand was still in my grasp, naturally followed me.

No one clapped or cheered, but the atmosphere wasn’t bad. It was very nice. I quickly left the street, giving a professional smile that I learned from the Black Dragon Master to everyone that looked at me.

-Wow.

Bae Hu-ryeong muttered.

-Aren’t you ashamed?

‘I’m doing what I have to do. Why should I be ashamed?’

-You really are the Young Master of the Demonic Cult.

‘Compared to the things I did in the Demonic Cult, what’s so bad about handing out flyers in the street? This is also work.’

-Seriously… even if you were dropped in the middle of a jungle or desert, you would still manage to somehow survive on your own. That Flame Emperor guy is really amazing. He managed to send someone like you into the world.

-Lord Kekerkker….

Ssonia, who had become a mental body, had a strange expression on his face, as if he couldn’t come to terms with what he’d just seen.

His expression was a mixture of respect and doubt.

–It’s amazing, but somehow, it feels different from the way Kekerkker normally is… No… Is this what Kekerkker is really like?

Right.

This was me.

Meanwhile, after we finally left the street completely, the theater owner opened his mouth.

-Did you mean that?

“Huh? What do you mean?”

-About the first silent Fire Play in history. How can you do a Fire Play without lines?

“Of course I meant it. I can’t lie to prospective customers, can I?”

-But…….

“Don’t worry. I will do my best to help the others put on a performance worth paying for. If it doesn’t work out, I’ll go on stage by myself. You don’t have to worry about lying to the customers.”

-…….

“But we have more work to do. By now, the new chairs must have been completed. The VIP seats as well… Please make new tickets for the 12 seats separately. The price should be twelve times more than the normal seats.”

-T-, twelve times?

The theater owner was shocked.

-If that’s the case….

“Our flyers have already been shared out. And 9 out of 10 of the customers will definitely bring their flyers. This means that there will be a lot of free customers. That’s why we need to special seats to ensure that we make a profit.”

-B-, but isn’t that too expensive?

“It is expensive. Only the customers who don’t think it’s expensive will buy it.”

Ding.

I lightly tapped my aura, causing it to ring out.

“You saw the way I used my aura earlier. If there were any warriors with a sense of victory, they would want to watch my performance as closely as possible. They would want to watch and learn.”

-…….

“It might be too expensive for a [guest who just came to watch the show] but it’s cheap for [a warrior who came to learn aura]. We’ll attract the former with giveaways and charge the latter. Theater owner. Trust me, this price is a steal.”

The next day.

Around noon, three or four hobgoblins wandered around the entrance to the theater.

-Is this the Dog Sound Theater?

-I heard that there is a performance next saturday. I want to reserve a front row seat in advance.

-I heard that an elf will also be performing on stage… Is that true? I’m only looking for a ticket because of that elf.

Even after hearing the price, the hobgoblin warriors simply bought the tickets without hesitation.

After selling four VIP seats in quick succession, the theater owner turned to look at me with an expression of disbelief.

“How is it?”

I smiled softly.

“Wasn’t I right?”

Two days later.

The VIP tickets sold out.

(Note:

1.For those curious, like me, you can google Albert Camus, he was a French Absurdist Philosopher.

2.This is something that Korean soldiers say to higher ranked personnel, usually while saluting.

3.This could be taken as barking or dog sounds. Which do you guys prefer? It should also be noted that ‘dog sound’(개소리) is a way to say ‘bullshit’ in korean, so I suppose that is also an option.)