Teacher of the Imperial Family’s Bastard - Chapter 4

Chapter 4: The Answer (1)

There is no head of the Pharos family this generation.

It’s because the head of the family, my parents, passed away 10 years ago from now.

I heard it was an accident, but I don’t know the details.

Since it was the death of the head of a great family, the Imperial Court conducted an investigation, but even until the moment of my death, the cause remained unexplained.

At the time, I was only eight years old and couldn’t understand the events.

Moreover, the retainers weren’t foolish enough to leave the governance of the family to an eight-year-old heir.

Thus, for the past ten years, and even after I was imprisoned until the family’s demise, the one who ruled in the head’s stead was my elder sister, Cecilia Pharos, who was five years older than me.

My sister was different from me in every way.

From a young age, she was composed, dignified, and intelligent.

She was the epitome of a noblewoman, like a painting brought to life.

To recall some of her defining traits:

My sister was someone who never raised her voice, regardless of the situation.

Conversely, she never laughed frivolously, no matter the occasion.

Her devotion to the family was also profound.

I sometimes felt that, for Cecilia Pharos, the Pharos family was her reason for existence.

Thus, she dedicated herself with reverence to every aspect of the family.

She was deeply filial to our parents, merciful to the retainers, and kind to the servants.

And to me, she was incredibly affectionate.

That affection was her only flaw.

She shouldn’t have doted on me so much.

— Young master, there must be some misunderstanding. Before pleading for your release, I will enter the palace and assess the situation.

My sister had always adored me, even from a young age.

No matter what trouble I caused, her first concern was always for me, and after we were left alone, her concern only deepened.

In hindsight, from the moment I first viewed the world, she had always been there, dedicating every moment of her life to me.

Even after I was imprisoned, she remained the same.

For about 12 out of the 17 years I was imprisoned, she visited me twice a month, whispering hopeful stories to me.

— I have spoken with His Highness. Though His anger is severe, with time, that feeling will melt away. After all, the crown prince has always been wise.

At first, she tried to persuade the crown prince.

— You’ve met His Highness while in prison. Have you reconciled? In hindsight, I should have had the young master visit the palace more often when he was younger. Had you built rapport, such a tragedy might have been avoided… It’s all my fault. But now, I can appeal directly to His Majesty. If I explain that you were unjustly imprisoned due to a misunderstanding, surely His Majesty will reconsider.

After the crown prince himself was imprisoned, she sought another way.

But it didn’t go well.

From the beginning, the crown prince was meticulous in having me imprisoned.

Due to my poor behavior, there were plenty of charges to choose from, and I had no way to prove my innocence.

Because of my background, no one had pointed a finger at me before, but truth be told, I had committed enough crimes to have been imprisoned long ago.

In hindsight, things began to crumble so quickly after the crown prince’s downfall that the Empire had no way to intervene.

Beyond the first few years, the Empire couldn’t even afford to assign bureaucrats to deal with the release of a single criminal.

Yet, my sister remained unwavering.

Even after I had given up, she never relinquished hope for my release.

It was an utterly foolish thing to do.

My sister was an esteemed and renowned woman, unlike me, the family’s failure.

She had every right to become the head of the family, both in name and in merit.

Once the succession ceremony was complete, she could have easily become the master of Pharos.

Yet, she could not let go of that foolish young master, Yuren Pharos.

For several years, she visited me consistently.

— It’s spring outside. The garden of Pharos was filled with couples smiling. Next year, we must see it together… Or perhaps, by then, you will have someone to share it with, and you can see it together.

She believed that I would leave prison, marry, and complete the succession to become the head of the family.

— Baron Venter has retired. It’s to be expected, given his age. His eldest son is now his successor. I’ll bring him along next time.

She informed me of changes in the family’s appointments or the political currents, hoping I wouldn’t fall behind.

— Winter has arrived. Is it cold in the prison? Though it’s a place for noble prisoners, it can’t be warmer than the mansion, can it? I’ve asked the guards here to add more firewood for you. And as for your meals…

She took care of my health, to an obsessive degree.

In hindsight, I now see that my sister stopped caring about her own health at some point.

For several years, her complexion worsened noticeably.

The shadows under her eyes seemed to stare into an abyss, and her sunken cheeks made her look like a starving child from a slum.

As for her wrists, they were so gaunt that her bones protruded grotesquely.

Death had been stalking her, tightening its grip on her neck the entire time.

But I didn’t know that back then.

I was too caught up lamenting my imprisonment and obsessing over the crown prince, the one who had caused my confinement, that my mind was already full.

Looking back, the only comfort I had was the fact that my sister had been there for me.

She was the only one who ever gave me hope.

And yet, I only realized this after she was gone.

— Tell me, why haven’t I received any visitors?

— …Well…

— Has something happened to my sister? She used to leave a letter even when she couldn’t visit.

— That… I’m afraid I cannot provide external information, sir.

The guards were forbidden from divulging information.

That was both Imperial law and their strict code of conduct.

So, when my sister stopped coming, I felt confused.

But the unfortunate truth is that I was a shallow person at the time.

When I began to notice her absence, I thought she had finally given up on me.

Shamefully, it didn’t stop there.

I started to feel anger toward her.

In retrospect, the crown prince had a hand in stoking that.

— Twelve years is long enough. The fact that she cared for a failure like you for that long is already beyond the grace of a god. Accept it humbly. But if your sister isn’t coming anymore, that means you won’t be getting any more snacks from her. Quite the problem, isn’t it?

What did I do that day…?

Ah, yes, I set the entire room on fire while the crown prince was sleeping.

Of course, he was completely unharmed.

— Oh dear, why are you lighting a fire in summer? I woke up drenched in sweat thanks to you.

He was a monster of a man, already on the verge of becoming a Grandmaster just by meditating in prison.

Anyway, the point is that at the time, I was driven by anger.

I became reckless during that period.

I think it was around that time that my words and actions toward the crown prince grew increasingly insolent.

I swung my sword in rage, thinking she had abandoned me.

I harbored idiotic thoughts of escaping this place and exacting revenge on her.

Anger made for excellent fuel.

— Oh dear, you’ve finally become a Sword Master.

On the 13th anniversary of the crown prince teaching me swordsmanship, I reached the level of mastery.

I was the fourth in the Empire at the time, behind only the Imperial Knights’ Captain, the Northern Front’s Grand Duke, and the crown prince.

But it didn’t bring me any joy.

My mind was too full of betrayal toward my sister.

I honed my sword even sharper.

Its edge became lined with fierce teeth, enough to tear flesh with a mere brush.

And it was only two years later, during the height of the war, that I realized I had no right to feel that way.

— The Empire needs strength. If you lend your hand, I will pardon all your crimes once the war is over.

As a criminal soldier, Yuren Pharos, I joined the crown prince in facing the world.

And that’s when I saw it.

The Pharos estate, burned to the ground without even a trace of ashes left.

The Pharos family, gone without a trace.

My sister, too.

— …What happened here?

— There was a great fire. The retainers and the acting head of the family were holding a late-night meeting, but…

— Who did this?

— …It remains unknown. The investigation was neglected because it was the early days of the war.

Just like with my parents, the entire family had vanished without a trace.

That’s how my sister left me.

The emotion I felt at that moment was not emptiness.

It wasn’t anger or hatred toward whoever was responsible.

It was regret.

Regret, wrapped in despair.

— Ah…

I felt so ashamed of myself that I wanted to hang myself.

I was guilty of being foolish until the very end.

Why did I stupidly only blame my sister?

I gave nothing but received everything, and when I could no longer receive, I thought it was betrayal.

For that reason, I truly became a sinner.

I, who had always felt wronged, finally held a sin that I could not deny.

The crown prince spoke.

— Repay it with your sword. That is what we must do.

I followed.

Because it seemed like the only thing I could do.

Because I felt like I would go mad if I didn’t.

— After the war is over, please allow me to lead Pharos again.

I begged the next emperor.

I gained his permission.

I was consumed by the thought that I must somehow restore everything my sister had tried to protect, even if belatedly.

But it was a tragedy.

My country fell, and I died.

In the end, I was unable to do anything for my sister.

The guilt crushed my heart.

It made me unable to lift my head in front of my sister, whom I met again.

“My lord, are you truly alright?”

The hand that touched my cheek was so frail.

A hand too weak to have ever done or could ever do any hard labor.

This was the hand that had protected me.

“…Yes.”

My sister asked with that hand.

“Your complexion still doesn’t look good. You should rest. Come, rest for a full day… And then, could you perhaps join me for a meal the day after tomorrow?”

Why don’t you ask why I didn’t show up yesterday?

“Please don’t find it too bothersome and grant me this one request.”

Why do you humble yourself to make such a request?

“Your health is the most important thing. Your health is the future of Pharos itself.”

Why do you go so far, sacrificing yourself to protect me, to protect this family?

Why do you act as if this is the very reason you’re alive?

I was furious.

Despite being unworthy, words surged up to my throat.

A shred of conscience held them back, and I lifted my head only then.

My sister looked emaciated.

This happened in just one day.

I had cast this shadow over her for more than ten years and had made it darker until the moment of her death.

So, even though I was filled with frustration at my sister’s foolishness.

Even though telling her not to do this for me should have been my priority.

“…I’m sorry.”

An apology came out first.

Something I had never once said in my past life.

An apology that I could only now offer after defying death.

“I’m sorry for worrying you.”

Of course, nothing changes by doing this.

As long as my heart remembers this, I will remain a sinner forever.

“My lord…?”

My sister’s eyes widened slightly.

It was an unusually blatant display of surprise for her.

I let out a faint laugh.

“Really…”

“Are you so shocked that I apologized?”

“It’s not that…”

For the first time, my sister avoided my gaze.

Her face became more deeply filled with confusion.

Seeing that, a realization surged within me.

‘Ah, so that’s what I must do.’

I opened my mouth.

“Sister,”

Time had rewound.

Even though I had no will of my own, even though someone else’s request caused it, the fact remained that time had already turned back.

Then, what must I do?

Should I simply make the crown prince an emperor?

Should I prevent the war from happening, or lead the war to victory if it does?

No.

None of that mattered to me.

There was only one thing that mattered.

I spoke to the future crown prince.

Though he would not hear me.

‘Since you sent me back as you wished, I’ll do as I wish.’

I bowed my head.

“I will do better from now on.”

“My lord? Are you truly alright…?”

I must atone.

For my sister, who suffered for a lifetime because of a wretch like me, for this person who lived with the family as her reason for existence.

This time, dedicating my entire life to the family and atoning to my sister is the right thing to do.

So that my sister no longer has to worry.

So that she can live a life of her own, not one for the family.

I finally understood what I must do.

———