The Tales of an Infinite Regressor - Chapter 198
Chapter 198
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The Wicked One I
1
I’ve rambled on about writers for quite a while, but to be honest, all of that was just a prologue. If “prologue” sounds too grand, think of it as the process of chopping vegetables before the main dish.
Now that I’ve shown you examples of ‘excellent writers,’ the cases I’ll present from here on will provide a stark contrast. Whether it was the 600th turn or the 700th turn, it didn’t matter which one you picked. On the SGNet novel serialization board, there were always a plethora of such notices.
– [Literature Girl] Oh Dokseo’s here……. (5 minutes ago)
– [Literature Girl] Delay in Serialization Notice (1 day ago)
– [Literature Girl] Notice on Tardiness (3 days ago)
– [Literature Girl] Hiatus Notice (4 days ago)
– [Literature Girl] Change in Serialization Time Notice (8 days ago)
…and so on.
– [Literature Girl] Notification of Irregular Serialization Due to Author’s Health (1 year ago)
– [Literature Girl] Author’s Explanation Regarding Recent Serialization (1 year ago)
– [Literature Girl] Hiatus for the Day (1 year ago)
– [Literature Girl] Temporarily Switching to 3.25 Serializations per Week (2 years ago)
A total of 1,019 notices.
It was like the inbox of a primitive person who had never learned the concept of organizing emails. Every message was marked as ‘read,’ and I clicked on the message that had arrived in my inbox 5 minutes ago as a test.
– [Literature Girl] Oh Dokseo’s here…….
“Sir, I’m sorry, but I have to let you know that it might be difficult to publish today’s episode on time. You don’t have to forgive me, but I hope you can keep a little bit of faith in me, knowing that I’m always trying my best. So here I am, giving an excuse. I don’t have much time these days.”
“Hmm….”
I propped my chin on my hand.
It wasn’t because I found it particularly puzzling or surprising, but because I was impressed by the rhyming Oh Dokseo had managed to set at the end.
Indeed, Oh Dokseo’s notices about delayed serialization had nearly reached the realm of art.
Let’s imagine, for instance, that one side was late to a summit between nations. Naturally, it would be considered a grave ‘mistake’ and ‘discourtesy.’
But what if it happened a hundred times? It would start to be considered a political strategy, much like “Putin’s tactics.”
Oh Dokseo’s delays in serialization were just like that. She could easily be called a master of hiatuses.
If Constellations truly existed, they would surely bestow Oh Dokseo with the title [Achievement Unlocked: Author Who Posted 1,000 Hiatus Notices] by now.
I don’t know what effect such an achievement might have. Probably something trivial.
Unfortunately, Constellations do not exist in this world, and since Oh Dokseo is part of the Regressor Alliance, I moved my real-world fingers to send a real-world message.
– [ZERO_SUGAR] Oh Dokseo.
I read your message. Don’t worry too much.
Writing isn’t always something that goes the way you want it to. Having seen many writers, I understand that.
Why don’t you take a full break for this episode?
I’m sure you’ll do better next time.
Hold on.
To prevent any misunderstandings, let me make something clear.
I am not a master of subtlety. I’m not someone born with a tongue that twists every word into sarcasm. In other words, if I say something to someone, you can take it as it is. There’s no need to embark on a linguistic excavation to find some hidden meaning.
But writers are naturally inclined to read ‘between the lines.’
Even if there’s nothing there, they’ll stubbornly proclaim, “This is the hidden meaning of the work!”
Unfortunately, Oh Dokseo was a writer.
“Sir! How could you say something so harsh to me?”
Bang!
Oh Dokseo burst through the door of our cafe hideout. She flailed her limbs at me, much like how Nobita from Doraemon would swing his arms wildly, perfecting the windmill punch technique.
“Uh? This episode is a lost cause! A lost cause! How could you say that this episode of mine is no good! No matter how cold-blooded and unfeeling you are as a regressor! How could you say something like that to me?”
“Oh Dokseo, my hair roots are strong. They only got a little shorter because I was trying to get a Walther PPK.”
“You’re saying I’m not even a writer anymore? That this episode of mine is hopeless, so you’re just dismissing it? Huh?”
“No, that’s not what I meant at all—”
“I just… I want to write…!”
Oh Dokseo grabbed my collar, lowered her head, and shouted.
For some reason, a unique aura of a youth drama surrounded her. Even Hanamichi Sakuragi from Slam Dunk would have acknowledged the perfect despair emanating from her.
“If only I were a little faster with my hands! I’ve already surpassed 800 turns of your return! I promised to write your story—both in the previous turn and the one before that! Why… Why can’t I do better than this――!”
Let’s pause.
Here, let me share the secret behind the creation of my biographical novel, that is, how our prophet creates it.
1. First, I tell her the story. Since Oh Dokseo and I both live in Inunaki Tunnel, I can share tales whenever we get bored.
2. Oh Dokseo writes based on my story. Let’s call this the ‘first draft.’
3. I pass the ‘first draft’ on to the next turn’s Oh Dokseo. Thanks to my perfect memory, I can upload every word without missing a single one.
4. Oh Dokseo continues writing from where the ‘first draft’ left off in the previous turn.
5. Since it’s tough to write alone like a monk in training, she changes the names of characters and proper nouns to make it seem like a ‘fictional story’ and serializes it on SGNet’s novel serialization board. By the way, the title of the serialized novel changes with each turn; in the 888th turn, it was The Epilogue of the Regressor.
In summary, it’s a relay novel.
And without fail, in every turn, Oh Dokseo reads the ‘first draft’ from the previous turn and leaves a comment like this:
‘Ugh, why did I only manage to write this much?’
Ignored.
‘Wow. Sir! Don’t worry, don’t worry. All the Oh Dokseos up to the previous turns were trash who didn’t write anything, but the Oh Dokseo in this turn will be different.’
Contempt.
‘So, let’s start writing… Writing might be just a grueling task for those without talent, but for a genius like me, it’s as easy as chewing on Denver bubblegum.’
Confidence.
That’s one set.
And before long, my inbox becomes crammed with messages like “Oh Dokseo’s here…….”
It’s a rare case where bubblegum ends up ruining a person’s teeth.
Based on my reasonable suspicion, I’d say this chronic delay is likely the final curse cast by the ‘The Admin of All-Play.’
Honestly, nothing else could explain it.
After hundreds of turns and only accumulating about 200 episodes, what else could be more bizarre than this?
“Oh Dokseo. I’m really okay with it.”
I spoke while taking off my barista apron. It had become drenched with the prophet’s snot and tears.
“No writer wants to take a break from serialization. Every writer wants to do 6, maybe even 10 updates a day and race to the end of the story they started. When that’s not possible, they shrink back. And if they keep shrinking, their very hearts will wither away.”
“…….”
“Don’t be too hard on yourself. I’m really okay with it…….”
“It doesn’t matter if you’re okay or not. That’s secondary!”
What.
“I’m not okay!”
“…….”
What does she want from me?
Fortunately, or unfortunately, Oh Dokseo didn’t seem to want an answer from me. She chewed her nails (I’ve advised her to stop several times, but she never listens) and muttered to herself.
“No, this won’t do. I have to find a way… I must… By any means necessary… I need to increase my writing speed….”
Then, with a face like Light Yagami’s when L caught onto him, she walked out, step by step.
The surroundings fell silent. It was as if a storm had passed.
To reiterate, this was the 1,300-meter-deep zone of our cafe hideout. There were a few customers, and among them was Hayul.
As the witness to this youth drama, Hayul said the line that needed to be said.
“Oppa, aren’t you going to follow her?”
“She’ll be fine. She might wander for a bit, but she’ll pull herself together soon. Rather than fussing over her right now, I think it’s better to believe in her and wait.”
“Or you’re just too lazy to go after her?”
That’s why I dislike quick-witted little kids.
2
Until now, it was the norm for Oh Dokseo to scribble a few episodes and then toss the draft saying, “Sorry! Future me, please handle this somehow…!”
But surprisingly, on the 888th turn, a route unfolded that even I couldn’t have predicted.
[Literature Girl] ‘The Regressor’s Epilogue’ will now be serialized every day at 16:00, seven days a week.
It was nothing short of a miracle.
To help you fully grasp the enormity of this miracle, let me elaborate: originally, Oh Dokseo was updating three times a week. But now, it’s increased to seven times a week.
Have you ever seen such a case?
No. And you probably won’t in the future either. Because an author’s update schedule is like a delinquent bank account balance that, once decreased, never increases again.
Yet, Oh Dokseo achieved it.
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 273 (1 day ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 272 (2 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 271 (3 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 270 (4 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 269 (5 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 268 (6 days ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 267 (7 days ago)
Not a minute late, updates precisely on time.
Even more astonishing was this chilling fact:
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 276 (5 minutes ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 275 (5 minutes ago)
[Literature Girl] The Regressor’s Epilogue Episode 274 (5 minutes ago)
At least once a week, there would be a triple release!
Sometimes, there were even massive ten-episode releases.
Naturally, the SG Net’s novel forums were buzzing.
Readers who always waited to mock whenever a “It’s Oh Dokseo…” tardiness notice was posted were now busy leaving comments.
– Anonymous: Hey, is something going on lately? Why isn’t Literature Girl ever late these days??
– Anonymous: Even doing multiple releases; this guy’s gone nuts;;
– Anonymous: Seems awakened ㄷㄷㄷ
– Anonymous: Oh Dokseo <___> Please enter your prompt…
※ GPT-MSYH may make mistakes. Please do not neglect cross-verification.
?
A question mark popped up in my head.
Before my brain could provide an answer to that question mark, Oh Dokseo’s fingers rapidly danced across the laptop keyboard.
Tap tap tap. Tap tap tap tap.
Like a pianist’s elegant movements, letters appeared swiftly on the screen where the prompt was blinking.
>> Protagonist is a Doctor Jang, regressor, 300th regression, starts at Busan Station, mysterious story
Click-.
Oh Dokseo pressed enter.
Soon after, the laptop screen began to spew out sentences one after another.
Doctor Jang faced his 300th regression. The protagonist’s eyes beheld Busan Station, still as mysterious as ever. Though he returned to the same Busan Station each time, one unchanging fact remained. Mysterious events always found him there, and Doctor Jang had to resolve these enigmatic incidents.
Letting out a peculiar sigh for the 300th time, Doctor Jang pulled out a black suit he had bought at Busan Station.
The 300th episode of Doctor Jang regressor’s another mysterious Busan Station tale was about to begin.
“Whew—.”
Oh Dokseo wiped her forehead.
“Worked hard today! Update done!”
“…….”
Uh.
Dokseo…?
———