The Tales of an Infinite Regressor - Chapter 45
Chapter 45
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Returnee II
Sword Marquess, though mad, possessed remarkable abilities.
To intuitively understand just how remarkable, a bit of explanation is necessary.
This world hates humanity.
Teens, caught in their second year of middle school delusions, often mutter, “It seems the world hates me.” As they grow, they gradually learn that, surprisingly (or perhaps not so surprisingly), the world is indifferent to their existence.
Honestly, from the world’s perspective, there are other things to worry about. Like turtles that have swallowed plastic or quantum entanglement.
But now, that’s no longer the case. Something fundamentally changed with the Gate incident. It just changed.
From that day on, the world decided to dislike humanity a bit more.
The Void.
Otherwise known as the Abyss, or Hell. Previously, the term ‘Gate’ was used, but increasingly, people began to refer to it as the Void.
-Hey, what’s that?
-Huh? What is it?
-That flower. Why does it have teeth?
In the Void, the petals of the Rafflesia sprout shark teeth. Spiders grow thirteen legs. Dragonflies develop six side eyes. Headless elephants roam around.
If monsters and anomalies are left unchecked, massive genetic mutations occur in the affected land, leading to a rapid increase in deformed creatures.
Thus, the Void’s poison.
It instantaneously deforms the civilization and knowledge humanity has painstakingly built up over centuries.
Have you ever seen fields stained blood-red? Rice grains that resemble aphids and flies? Instead of rice grains, lilies bloom. A farmer once dug up his field and found that all the rice plants were interconnected underground like a bamboo forest.
Despite being grown in the same field, with the same species, water, and sunlight, the rice on the left side of the field looked different from that on the right.
Human civilization was established on ‘reproducibility’. When humanity realized that spring would come again a year after all the changes, they built a tower of gold. At the sharp top of this gold tower, time finally transformed into history.
Now, the tower has crumbled.
Time flows. It flows unpredictably. Like a desert storm, it covers the once-brilliant surface of the tower with sand.
What is humanity? What are ‘we’? Are we the same as that being whose head sprouts flowers and whose tongue grows fish gills?
From those gills, the cries of a newborn can be heard. Eventually, they only communicate with the sound of a child’s cry, and we cannot understand what those sounds mean.
Occasionally, time flows quickly near Incheon and slowly near Seoul. Nothing repeats. Nothing is reproduced. It just flows.
“Cities are connected……”
Thus, I, the Saintess, the Nomads, the Samcheon Guild Alliance, have declared war against the Void devouring our world.
“Humanity needs to return to the times when it was overwhelmed by nature.”
Isn’t that regression? The Nomads shook their heads.
“Like evolution and regression are merely human distinctions, this too is merely an adaptation to the environment…… Giving up the rule of areas for the rule of lines.”
From area to line.
From line to area.
That was the motto of the National Road Management Corps.
“Then, we can escape from being isolated by the Void and maintain our community……”
Like a knight fitting a disabled person with a prosthetic, the National Road Management Corps has paved the way for humanity.
At last, isolated points, cities, and people have transformed into stations where they can briefly rest.
-I’m continuing to fix the broken railways of this world one by one.
I was able to keep Dang Seo-rin’s last will.
It took many years.
And it will take many more years.
-From history to history, forever.
The National Road Management Corps did not represent Busan. It could not symbolize Seoul. The National Road Management Corps was simply humanity’s last cradle, the last unit, and the frontline.
“We can do it. No, we must……”
Every time they set off, the patrol units of the National Road Management Corps could not guarantee their lives.
The patrol unit that left for Gangneung never returned. After two years, all thirteen members of a patrol unit exploring the North returned transformed into sunflowers that walked, their heads turned toward the flags they held when they departed.
Still, we did not hesitate to stand at the forefront.
“Heh. This season will be a good harvest too!”
Sword Marquess was indeed a support unit for this frontline.
“With this much grain, we can surely feed Samhan[1] well and have leftovers! Truly, it is the providence of heaven!”
No matter how much we pave the way, people need to eat. Whether it’s three meals a day, two meals, or even one, the need to eat is my body’s urgent fate.
I did not take this hunger as hardship or sorrow.
Infected with the New Buddha virus, one could escape the fate of hunger at any time. It meant transitioning from being human to becoming a being of the Void. The hunger was tragic, but it was a human tragedy, and still, it was the tragedy of beings born and raised on this land.
However, I did not live to see human horrors as human beauty. We needed to eat.
The chef responsible for the rice power of the Korean Peninsula was none other than Sword Marquess.
“Wouldn’t it be alright for me to enjoy a little sightseeing this summer?”
And, as emphasized several times, our chef was crazy.
“Ah, Lord Sword Marquess. Sightseeing?”
“Literally, wandering the martial world. Young warriors of the martial arts community. Don’t reveal this anywhere. I have kept it a secret until now, but actually……”
Sword Marquess carefully looked around. The glances of the National Road Management Corps, checking for monsters nearby, could not have been as sharp.
After confirming that no one else was around except me, Sword Marquess whispered in my ear.
“I am the rightful disciple of the 260th leader of the Mount Hua Sect.”
“……”
“The essence of the three-thousand-year history of the Mount Hua Sect is fully contained within the martial arts secrets in my possession.”
So, this man was claiming to be a marquess in Yuldoguk and a Sword Marquess in the martial world, and, to top it off, he claimed to be the next leader of the Mount Hua Sect.
And he wore an aluminum practice sword at his waist.
By this point, my head was spinning.
“Um… if it’s alright to ask, why is the elder who represents the future of the Mount Hua Sect in Korea?”
“Of course, it’s to hide from the despicable eyes of the Demonic Cult. As the rightful successor of the Twenty-Four Plum Blossom Sword Technique, it’s inevitable that those malicious ones glare at me. Look. Even now, aren’t the demons controlled by the Heavenly Demon shaking the world?”
“Good heavens.”
“That’s right. It’s exactly the feeling of wanting to seek a deity! Originally, I was a master who had reached the pinnacle, but during my escape from the Demonic Cult, I suffered serious internal injuries to my energy centers. However, having recuperated here in the land of Haedong, I must now return to my home mountain and fulfill my duties as a disciple.”
“You mean to go to Mount Hua in China right now?”
“Exactly so.”
I looked up at the sky and sighed deeply.
“Lord Sword Marquess, are you mad?”
Kim Joo-chul and Kim Si-eun father-and-son’s tale hinted briefly that in this era, ‘overseas travel’ was just a fancier term for ‘suicide.’
At my straightforward remark, Sword Marquess merely tilted his head.
“I am perfectly sane.”
After all, asking a madman if he’s mad would never yield a meaningful response. Why ask a dolphin if it’s a dolphin unless one’s eyes are crossed? The truth is evident.
I changed tactics.
“If you’re talking about the Twenty-Four Plum Blossom Sword Technique, is it the one where, if perfected, the scent of plum blossoms pervades ten thousand li[2] from the sword?”
“Oh, it seems the young martial artist has also heard of its great reputation. That’s correct.”
“Does the Mount Hua you know of bloom with many plum blossoms?”
“Indeed it does.”
“…That’s a setting made up in Korea.”
My knowledge of martial arts was limited to a few novels I read as a child. But even I knew this:
Mount Hua was not particularly famous for plum blossoms.
One could guess as much from the photos alone. Mount Hua was a mountain as bare as its leaves, with rocks starkly exposed, presenting many challenges for plum blossoms to flourish luxuriantly.
The same goes for the scent. Evolving an olfactory system that interprets the smell of rocks as plum blossoms was genetically impossible.
What am I saying?
The self-proclaimed Sword Marquess and prospective 261st Sect Leader of the Mount Hua Sect, holder of a practice sword, a native Korean from Ulleungdo, and a non-speaker of Chinese, was spouting nonsense. This old man was a liar through and through.
“Aaaargh!”
The Sword Marquess roared like a lion.
“How dare a junior mock me! The scent of plum blossoms I once encountered while learning from my master still lingers in my nose! If you intend to insult my master and me, I will not sit idly by!”
“Then why not demonstrate the Plum Blossom Sword Technique yourself, if you are its inheritor?”
“Had I not been attacked by the beasts of the Demonic Cult and my energy centers remained intact, I would demonstrate it right away.”
“I’m going mad.”
Hey, you’re supposed to be a 60-year-old man, but you’re younger than me. Plus, back when civilization was intact, 60 wasn’t even considered old.
How old am I this year… no, let’s drop this strategy.
Even if I win the battle, I feel like I’d lose the war.
Anyway, Sword Marquess was a type of person I couldn’t handle.
Fortunately, we had the ‘ultimate weapon for dealing with elders.’
“Noh Do-hwa. Help.”
“A 60-year-old grandpa? Easy…”
The most beloved woman among the elderly in the Korean Peninsula, the greatest protective gear knight and head of the National Road Management Corps, Noh Do-hwa, smirked mischievously.
TL/N: Yes, the classic late gender reveal in Korean webnovels. Noh Do-hwa is female, I’ll use she/her pronouns from now and fix old chapters…
“Sir, are you feeling good…?”
“Ah, ah, my whole body feels relaxed.”
Noh Do-hwa performed a shoulder massage on Sword Marquess. Her skills were so excellent that one could believe she had been a masseuse rather than a public servant, and Sword Marquess’s expression melted.
“Plum blossoms bloom on mountain peaks and even on the streets. Then, wouldn’t they bloom in the heart of a person just the same? Since the tradition of the Mount Hua Sect has passed to you, sir, what does it matter whether this place is Haedong or Chang’an…?”
“Uuum, but my sworn brothers…”
“No, no… Your master has already passed away, hasn’t he? Then, you are the eldest in the Mount Hua Sect, and there’s a tradition of juniors visiting their seniors, not the other way around. They should come to you, why should you move…?”
“Oh? That is indeed a wise saying.”
“If you entrust me with a letter, I’ll send it to China on your behalf. If they understand their duty, they should rightly come here to see you…”
“Oho! The advice of the head of the post station is absolutely right!”
“Then I’ll also look forward to the autumn harvest…”
“Hmm! Leave it to me!”
The National Road Management Corps was a post station, and there the head was the postmaster.
After displaying her miraculous skills in hand and tongue, Noh Do-hwa turned to me and smirked.
“That’s why I prefer the elderly to the young… they understand, you know…?”
I won’t nitpick over her argument.
But even with Noh Do-hwa’s full-hearted play, there was a limit. Sword Marquess was a madman, and madness was incurable.
“I must visit Mount Hua at least once before I die.”
With the change of seasons and each harvest, Sword Marquess kept murmuring like someone afflicted with nostalgia.
“I must see it before I die…”
Since the establishment of the National Road Management Corps, Sword Marquess repeated this mantra through the 54th, 55th, 56th, and 57th cycles.
Time passed.
Finally, the 108th cycle.
During the holiday season, I visited Sword Marquess. In the very early part of his first year, Sword Marquess was still living in his hometown, Ulleungdo (yes, he had no reason to be nostalgic).
“Lord Sword Marquess.”
“Hmm?”
An old man watering the flowers in the front yard of a humble house turned to look at me. Water trickled from his watering can.
“Who might you be, young one?”
“I am a knight bestowed with a title from Yuldoguk.”
“What?”
A normal person would have called the police or at least swung a broom if a foreigner suddenly walked into their front yard claiming a title from a micronation.
“This one is my compatriot! Welcome!”
But, true to his nature, Sword Marquess was extraordinary. I had suspected he had been playing nobility since coming to Ulleungdo, but it seems he had lost his mind even before that.
“But your honorifics are strange. I am not Sword Marquess but Sword Man. Why have you come seeking me?”
I made the saddest face possible. Method acting wasn’t particularly hard. It was easy to recall the scene when Dang Seo-rin died.
“Sadly, I must report that Yuldoguk has fallen.”
“What?”
“The wicked reach of the Demonic Cult has extended even across the sea to Yeong-gil-ri. Not only Yuldoguk but also the eastern region of Yeong-gil-ri has been devastated, and the Archduke himself did not escape harm.”
“No…! How could such a thing happen…!”
“Lord Sword Marquess.”
Thud. I knelt in the courtyard. Then, with a solemnity unmatched in the world, I cried out.
“Though the court of Yuldoguk has fallen, how could we accept that the people should bear the grief of a ruined nation? Is it not loyalty to continue the nation with the remaining people?”
“……!”
“As you are now the only remaining noble of Yuldoguk, it is only fitting that you establish a new court on this land. But, as a person, I cannot forget the grace of the Archduke; please ascend to the title of duke and revive Duke’s Nation!”
Incidentally, Sword Marquess’s house was humble.
And a humble house was in a humble neighborhood.
And a feature of a humble neighborhood is that it’s quite easy to peek over the fence when something unusual is happening next door. All the neighbors were looking this way.
Their gaze, in a nutshell, was like, uh, staring at a dick.
“Heaven has not yet abandoned me!”
Sword Marquess paid no mind to the neighbors’ stares.
“Get up! How well you’ve understood my will!”
“I apologize.”
“You, you are indeed like my eldest son!”
Basically, that meant best friends.
The 108th cycle.
That day, I became best friends with the prospective Sect Leader of the Mount Hua Sect.
Footnotes:
[1] Samhan, or Three Han, is the collective name of the Byeonhan, Jinhan, and Mahan confederacies that emerged in the first century BC during the Proto–Three Kingdoms of Korea, or Samhan, period. Located in the central and southern regions of the Korean Peninsula, the Samhan confederacies eventually merged and developed into the Baekje, Gaya, and Silla kingdoms. The name “Samhan” also refers to the Three Kingdoms of Korea.
[2] Li (Chinese: 里, lǐ, or 市里, shìlǐ), also known as the Chinese mile, is a traditional Chinese unit of distance. The li has varied considerably over time but was usually about one third of an English mile and now has a standardized length of a half-kilometer (500 meters or 1,640 feet or 0.311 miles).