Childhood Friend of the Zenith - Chapter 517

Chapter 517 – Give me a hand.

Not long after I returned, I often lost my sleep.

One day I couldn’t sleep for an hour and stayed up all night.

One day, because it was dangerous if I didn’t sleep anymore, I made a bet and fainted myself.

I couldn’t sleep otherwise.

Memories from before the return came to mind as dreams, so I couldn’t bear to fall asleep.

those I killed.

those I couldn’t save.

those who died for me.

Their faces floated through the night and I couldn’t live.

I wake up in a cold sweat, entangled in nightmares.

When I woke up like that, I couldn’t breathe for a long time.

Then, when he could barely breathe, he buried his face in the blanket and repeated howling.

I cried for a long time, blaming myself for being incompetent, as the opportunities I had obtained were overshadowed.

How can I be happy that I have returned?

Nothing has changed.

How can I breathe and live when the memory of that time is so vivid.

I haven’t changed anything and I haven’t done anything.

I’ve been spending a lot of time like that.

Unable to get out of his previous life, he staggered through his life, not knowing what to do.

what did you live for It’s hard to see live.

I just spent the day breathing.

He was a soldier and tried to regain his status, but he was empty because he had no will.

There was no use in using this to build a field because the field was empty.

what should it be for

What does this regression mean?

I’ve been looking for a long time to see what it means.

Rather than looking for meaning.

I just wished.

hope it makes sense

Please make sense in my regression.

I hoped so much, but I couldn’t find out what this regression could mean.

The world isn’t that easy.

So I just lived with the flow of time.

I tried dipping here and there to try something, but I didn’t raise the heat too much.

It was something I dreamed of someday.

A childhood desire to be called the genius of the century like others and to stand shoulder to shoulder with them.

There were times when I lived there crazy, but I didn’t.

You could do anything you wanted.

The reason I didn’t do that was probably because I didn’t want to stand out.

Because I don’t want to see their faces.

I hated that I dared to stand next to them.

Surprisingly, I also have a conscience.

At least until then.

There was no intention of stopping the bloodshed as much as returning.

I just want to live moderately. or.

I have to live in a mountain valley to avoid danger.

At first, I wanted to live like that.

Let’s live in moderation and inconspicuously.

It must have been that way.

where did it change

often think about

About where it might have changed.

It must have been around the time when he met Wi Seol-ah in Shanseo-hyeon right after returning.

Or was it when he met Namgoongbia on the way to Sacheon?

It was all things that could be called a starting point.

I knew.

The starting point of my true belief was when I first met Dang So-yeol.

It wasn’t for any particular reason.

At first it was simply a seed.

When I saw Dang So-yeol’s two normal eyes.

And around the time Bia Namgoong was standing next to her and Wiseolah was standing next to me.

When you feel a completely different sight and atmosphere from your previous life.

Afterwards, when Namgung Cheonjun was killed, wouldn’t he be able to change himself?

My heart warmed up little by little.

Since then, the situation has continued to change.

On the way to the volcano, he met Shin Noya.

After that, looking at Shinui and Jegal Hyuk, I wondered if I could change the things I knew with my own efforts.

What I had such hope for.

Hope became a fire.

Fearing that someone might not be a military man who uses fire, the flame in his heart grew bigger and bigger.

The longing that I didn’t know about showed my teeth and started craving.

That is the reason why the power was revealed in the non-muje.

I will take everything Jang Seon-yeon can get. That plan was the beginning.

Now that I think about it, it probably wasn’t all that.

Literally yearning.

What I secretly wished for.

The delusion of wanting to be seen as a great genius by others.

Was there really no desire for it?

no.

There would have been no such mind.

I want to destroy Jang Seon-yeon and get everything he can get.

There must have been other aspirations in the name of future plans.

That’s probably why he opened up his power without any leisure.

As I became more honest with my feelings, the situation continued to change.

I met the Blood Demon and felt that there was something in this world.

Furthermore, he met Yeon Il-cheon and learned that there was an even more secret.

As I learned secrets I didn’t know, my heart changed, and my relationships with those around me improved.

‘Let’s live roughly, avoiding bloodshed.’ not.

Ultimately, I decided to stop the blood demon and end the blood demon myself.

It was thanks to me remembering my previous life and recognizing that my current life was a different life.

So, I thought the cause was because I met Dang So-yeol in Sacheon.

Rather, it was different from Namgoongbia and Wiseolah.

It was because the range of emotions they had was less than that of Dang So-yeol.

I think I was able to think rationally again.

As time passed, I was able to sleep little by little.

Maybe it was because I was determined to achieve my goal, so I was able to concentrate on training.

Maybe that’s why I couldn’t resist training in a rough way.

It’s still the same as dreaming of a previous life.

Very occasionally, I was able to properly dream a dream.

The dream is more like a delusion of the distant future.

What happened after the world became peaceful.

I am able to dream things I never could have imagined.

The emptiness I felt after waking up was still there. It was fine though.

At least the foundation was laid.

‘hani. Now I have to take care of my surroundings properly.’

I shouldn’t be strong.

If possible, I’d like to shoulder the karma completely alone, but I know I can’t even if I wanted to.

I don’t want to hold out my hand.

Although one pain was enough to bear.

I know I’m not very competent myself.

So I had to look around, but…

In that aspect, Dang So-yeol was a difficult part for me in many ways.

‘It’s ambiguous.’

It’s about martial arts, but the most important thing.

‘How am I looking at Dangsoyeol?’

In fact, it is about how and in what sense I see Dangsoyeol.

As said above.

To say that I was able to think rationally while looking at her, unlike Wiseol-ah and Namgung-bia.

It’s like saying that the feelings you have for Dang So-yeol aren’t that great.

At least it was at first.

A person I simply killed with my own hands.

It was a relationship where the fishy guilt that came from that was the problem.

‘Then now?’

What about now?

I think about it, but I still don’t know.

I don’t know that the feelings she has for me are affection.

I have no idea how it happened.

Surely it will.

Conversely, I

Can I dare to call this love?

I couldn’t be sure.

It was because the feelings I felt when I saw Namgung-Bia or Wi Seol-Ah were quite different from the feelings I felt when I saw Dang So-Yeol.

‘Even so.’

It didn’t mean that Dangsoyeol had a small part in me.

Even when Dang Deok threatened Dang So-yeol.

Even when I heard the judgment that Dang So-yeol might be involved in an incident that was going to happen within the party gate.

Hearing that, I was considering Dang So-yeol as important enough to inadvertently live up to it.

I’m simply not sure of my mind.

To put it bluntly, unlike Namgoongbia and Wiseolah, I can’t die for Dangsoyeol.

Maybe that’s how it feels.

but.

‘I can’t help but be concerned.’

As long as the portion occupied by sugar fever is absolutely not small.

I couldn’t help but worry about her.

It’s a pretty odd location.

Mujae wasn’t particularly outstanding. Other talents aren’t that great either.

Even so, I remembered that she had risen to the position of poison in her previous life, and I decided that there must be something.

‘If it had anything to do with this incident.’

Cheonmujiche birth plan.

From the moment I heard that Dang So-yeol was intertwined with the incident.

I had to struggle to remember the whereabouts of Dang Xiaoyeol in my previous life.

How did she get poisoned? I wanted to know about it.

‘…’

But no matter how much I thought about it, I couldn’t figure it out.

Proof that I wasn’t that interested in her.

I was annoyed for some reason.

What do you mean?

Say you don’t want to be strong.

Hearing that, Dang So-yeol looks up at me with a puzzled expression.

Seeing such a party, I suddenly thought.

‘Was it this small?’

Due to the nature of Tang Wen, who has lived as a hermit for centuries, most of his direct blood relatives are small in stature.

Even with the single king, he was a bit bigger than me before the breakout.

As a woman, Dang Soyeol must have a smaller-than-average physique.

For some reason, I can clearly feel it now.

‘… The reason is that.’

Maybe it’s because of Dang Soyeol’s eyes.

since when

Looking into Dang So-yeol’s eyes, I knew it.

It means that she is slowly becoming tinged with her sense of entitlement.

How could I not know?

It is a feeling that I was deeply absorbed in in my previous life.

If you don’t know, you won’t be able to know.

The cause is probably.

‘It’s probably because of the kids around me.’

Somehow, all of the late indexes that have gathered in abundance are geniuses and monsters.

It is only natural for Beomjae to feel a wall he cannot handle.

Genius touches the sky.

Beomjae has to fly and crawl to stay on the floor.

When I found out that they had wings that I didn’t have, it was natural to sit down and throw them away.

At least I did.

Realizing the difference, I sat on the floor and cried out.

I understand Dang Soyeol’s feelings more than anyone else.

so even more.

‘I am.’

I didn’t want the sugar fever to be ruined.

There is nothing more devastating and ugly than breaking down over a sense of qualifications.

I know because I’ve been through it.

I didn’t want Dang So-yeol to be like that.

so.

‘… It’s a pretty cowardly way.’

I felt the touch inside my clenched fist.

A sense of stumbling.

He clenched his fists while biting his lips slightly.

‘… It feels like shit.’

Know. It’s not because the touch is offensive, it’s because the inside is offended by it.

‘Is this really the right way?’

What do you ask?

I knew it wasn’t.

still want to do it

‘Fuck.’

What he was holding in his hand was the jewel he had stolen from the elder of Tang.

The word is a jewel, but in reality it is no different from an elixir containing all kinds of energy.

Starting with the white horse stone, I was surprised to see most of the elixirs called elixirs.

‘This is the first time I’ve seen it.’

This is a masterpiece of Chinese literature that was created over a hundred years, starting with the self-employed person.

Just by absorbing it, the body changes and the poison it possesses is maximized.

There was no such thing as a tremendous elixir that was only heard in words, but the conditions for consuming it were a problem.

‘Did they say you have to be a woman first?’

As for intake conditions, the first thing to do is to be a woman.

Did you say that if you are a man, your body will not fit and your energy will explode and you will explode?

The second is….

‘Shouldn’t Lee Rip have crossed it?’

For most of the warriors, the age of Lee Rip was around the time when he was about to enter his heyday.

In other words, it is the same as the condition that it must be a late index.

also.

‘There must be a bowl that can handle this amount of miasma.’

It’s a vicious poison that makes no sense at all.

No matter how poison-resistant a person is, it doesn’t make sense to endure such poison.

It’s impossible with a normal body. when these conditions are put together.

In the end, it meant that people who had developed resistance to poison from a young age should eat it.

Lee Li has not exceeded, and the latter index of the female Tang Dynasty.

‘… It’s just a fever.’

It was a part where I could see how the elder Il made a plan to feed this to Dang So-yeol.

If there’s something that’s a little awkward.

‘It’s not just the Dangso-yeol that meets the conditions. On the contrary, there is a part that I wonder if it was produced according to the company’s passion.’

Isn’t that a very fitting condition?

I liked it, but

‘Even so.’

I am.

I was thinking of feeding this to Dang So-yeol.

[… Hmmm…]

At this thought, Shinnoya exhaled as if he was uncomfortable.

The sound of his breathing was annoying to my ears.

There will be no help.

It was only natural that Shinnoya, the hero, would not like this method.

but.

‘…How come you don’t stop me.’

Noya didn’t stop me.

He constantly showed signs of discomfort, but he didn’t say anything, let alone tell him not to do it.

Ironically, that rather bothered me.

joy.

Shinnoya snorted.

[Didn’t you hear that you dried it?]

‘Didn’t you constantly dry it even though you knew that?’

[That’s true too. Clap.]

Noya let out a dry laugh for a moment before continuing.

[Not only did I not hear that it was dried, but I didn’t have to do that this time.]

‘…You mean it doesn’t matter if I feed this to Dang So-yeol?’

It is the aggregate of countless lives.

If only monsters were used, it wouldn’t have been so irritating, but the lives that died to process it were beyond my imagination.

Dozens of bodies were found.

Considering the years, it must have taken dozens of times more lives than that.

It’s an elixir made like that, so I thought I’d just leave it for Noya to use.

I couldn’t understand it in Apjang, not Noya.

Because of this, the party gate will stumble considerably in the future.

Looking at the dokwang’s actions, it didn’t seem like he was going to hide it.

I felt a bit sorry for the poisonous king who was going to die in the shit of the ancestors and the current elders.

It didn’t matter now.

‘Current me can do it.’

A jewel imbued with this enormous energy.

If you succeed, you’ll have an excellent body and considerable venom.

If you feed the current Dang So-yeol roughly, there is a risk that you will not be able to control your energy and your body will be broken.

I could easily control that.

The right body of the invulnerable poison.

Even if the miasma was about to explode, it was enough to control it by sucking it.

So, it means that I am the only one who can use this more safely by feeding it to Dang So-yeol.

when you’re thinking like that.

[That’s why you’re already a kid.]

Noya suddenly pointed out as if he was pitiful.

‘…then what the hell is the problem?’

[Tsk tsk…. Stop talking with the daughter of the Tang family.] I

was slightly annoyed by Noya’s words, but I decided to finish talking with Tang Soyeol first, just like Noya said.

Because Dang So-yeol was also waiting for a story.

It literally means… don’t you want to be strong?

yes?

I thought I could make you stronger.

Confucius…?

huh.

Hearing my words, Dang Soyeol tilts his head.

It was strangely worth seeing because he came to me right away and asked if I wanted to become stronger.

‘one word.’

Just one word is enough.

I want to be strong. Suffice it to say.

With just that one word, I will shoulder the karma for this ugly jewel instead of Dang So-yeol.

I could do that much.

With that in mind, I’m waiting for Dang So-yeol’s answer.

After a while, Dang Xiaoyeol slowly opened his mouth.

Um… Does that mean I’m getting stronger…?

maybe. You will become very strong.

I don’t know how effective it is.

If the poison from my previous life was caused by the influence of this drug, it would probably become quite strong.

Or you will get the possibility to become stronger.

Is Gongja-nim helping you with that?

huh.

After hearing my words, Dang So-yeol seemed to be thinking for a moment.

Then…

he told me with a bright smile.

I won’t.

Okay then this… Huh?

I naturally took out the jewel and stopped at Dang So-yeol’s answer.

… you won’t? Did you just say no?

don’t you?

yes. I won’t.

… why? If it’s something you’re worried about, I’ll do my best to avoid danger…

Confucius.

I wonder if it’s because you don’t trust me, so I’m trying to convince you.

back.

Dang Xiaoyeol grabs my arm with his small hand.

The power felt strangely strong.

I don’t think that Confucius would help me with something dangerous. Confucius is not like that.

Then why…?

Can I ask you something?

… uh yeah.

If I accept this, will Confucius get sick?

…!

I swallowed in vain at Dang So-yeol’s words.

He pauses for a moment and tries to deny it right away.

whether it be the body or the mind. You obviously have to sacrifice for me.

Dang So-yeol spoke to me as if he was already convinced.

… it’s not like that. Are you just helping out?

But why are your eyes so sad?

…

At her words, I touch my eyes with my hands without even realizing it.

What kind of eyes are Dang Soyeol talking about?

Could my actions have been a problem?

Dang Soyeol carefully touched my eyes.

I couldn’t stop his hand.

Dang Soyeol, who touched my eyes for a moment, smiled slightly and said to me.

sorry.

… what?

Gongja-nim must have been bothered by my embarrassing appearance lately. Yes…?

…

It’s a word that pierces the heart. I swallowed my saliva at Dang Soyeol’s words.

Thanks to that, I missed the moment to deny it again.

… It’s embarrassing. Even if others found out, I didn’t want Confucius to find out.

She seemed to know that she was feeling a sense of entitlement.

How can I still laugh

I couldn’t laugh

Looking at such a dangsoyeol with trembling eyes, she continues to talk.

That’s right…. Compared to other people, I don’t think I’m helpful to Gongja. That was a bit upsetting.

I don’t need that…

even if Gongja doesn’t care. I am. I didn’t want to be the useless person next to you. That’s why I can’t stay by Gongja’s side all the time.

…

So I wanted to become stronger. I became very strong and wanted to be next to Gongja.

If that’s the case…

why not borrow my strength? The instant I was about to say that.

But you know. Confucius. No matter how strong I want to be.

Dang Soyeol moved his hand from touching my eye to my cheek and spoke softly.

I don’t need the strength to gain even while hurting Confucius.

…!

I don’t think I would want to be next to Gongja-nim when I looked so strong. I can get over it. Rather, I think I won’t be ashamed when I’m next to you.

…

I’m sorry. He came to me worrying… hehe… I’m fine.

Looking at Dang So-yeol laughing as if he was embarrassed, I couldn’t say anything.

It felt like being hit in the head with a hammer.

where did it go wrong

‘Is this the first time?’

Surely it will.

Why me.

Did you think Dang So-yeol was the same as me?

Why did he think that Dang So-yeol, like me, would be swept away by his lack of qualifications and collapse?

The premise is wrong.

She wasn’t weak like me.

Dang So-yeol was a person who thought that he would overcome it in the end even if it was difficult now rather than thinking that he would lose.

‘ah.’

something shakes

I looked at the dangsoyeol again.

Dang So-yeol, who felt so small before, seems like a bigger person now for some reason.

[Didn’t I tell you? You’re still a kid.]

Noya’s voice rises a little as he smiles.

because i saw it small

It seems that the sugar fever seemed small.

In the first place, she was confident that she would not be able to overcome it, so Tang Xiaoyeol looked so small and weak.

It looks much stronger and shinier now.

‘I see.’

suddenly comes to mind

When Sacheon was captured someday.

There was a woman who evacuated the people of the party to Hanam and blocked the demons alone.

Death was right in front of me.

Even though I know I will never be able to stand it.

Even though his eyes were digging and he had a rough face.

A woman who stood firm.

Haha…

I laughed at the thought of her.

I’ve never had enough strength for her.

I thought it was possible because I had the name Dokbi.

Even that is wrong.

‘It wasn’t because I was poisonous.’

Because it’s just sugar fever.

It was because she was that kind of person in the first place.

I feel like something thick is opening up.

When I cleared the hazy fog and saw sugar fever again.

I could feel confident.

ah…! that’s it It’s not like I’m refusing Gu Gongja because I don’t need him…!

Where does the coolness from before go? Dang So-yeol treats me with a reddened face again.

I said looking at her.

Hey.

yes yes…?

I think I can die for you now.

… uh… eh…?

I inadvertently spit out the words that came to my mind.

Kwuh…??

Upon hearing this, Dang Xiaoyeol suddenly fainted.