I Will Live As An Actor - Chapter 7

Those involved in filming episode 7 say in unison that they will live as actors .

Filming child actors is said to be close to a ‘nightmare.’ Of course, this does not mean that all child actors are like this. However, filming while soothing the heart of a child who doesn’t know where to go is almost like an arduous task.

From the director’s point of view, who has to consider the actor’s emotional portrayal, tone of voice, and intonation, sometimes a child actor’s acting can seem as reckless as hitting a rock with an egg. On the other hand, a child actor who is surrounded by a skirt and forced to act by his parents will feel like he is encountering something that he cannot communicate with. Filming child roles like this was quite difficult for both parties.

“Is there anything you don’t like?”

Yumyeong looked down at the boy who was carefully examining the contract in front of him. Usually, the casting director is fully responsible for recruiting minor roles and supporting actors. Considering the director’s inclinations, minor and important supporting roles are recruited and auditioned. Among them, it was safe to say that child actors’ appearance fees remained at a low level because they were located in grades 1 to 5 of the 18-grade table of actors’ appearance fees specified by the broadcasting station.

“I like the appearance fee.”

What England said was not a lie. After playing numerous minor roles in my past life, I naturally learned how much child actors are paid. Unless you are a child actor who belongs to a large agency and is highly recognized, the per episode appearance fee usually hovers around the range of at most 1 million won to as little as 100,000 won. Perhaps the most important thing for a child actor is to gain experience in the field and build recognition. On the other hand, the appearance fee in the UK was the highest for a child actor and a rookie filming for the first time. It seems that the influence of the famous producer worked well.

“then?”

“I know that my appearance lasts until the third episode, but the last filming date is taking a while. It overlaps with the first day of school.”

“uh?”

Yumyeong quickly checked the initial filming schedule specified in the contract. Filming doesn’t happen suddenly just because you plan it. Especially in the case of dramas that are influenced by viewers and broadcasting station executives, a lot of things happen during the production stage.

From on-site recruiting, to preliminary casting research, to the wedding ceremony and production presentation, which are considered the precursor events to the Korean drama and film industry. The initial schedule prepared for all of these complicated cases. It is natural to keep an all-nighter in mind in the latter half of the day when scripts are rampant, but if the schedule goes awry from the beginning, it would be a major disaster. Therefore, the broadcasting station’s assistant directors regarded this early schedule as their life. In order to protect this, it was said that he prayed at dawn every day, so it could be said that all was said.

“Could you please adjust it for a day?”

“Yeong-Kuk, wouldn’t it be okay for a day or so on the first day of school? I’ll tell the homeroom teacher directly and send an official letter to the school as well.”

“Producer, I really want to win the Perfect Attendance Award. If you have trouble coordinating, you can edit my scenes from the 3rd episode. I saw that the broadcasting station only calculated the appearance fee up to the 2nd episode because the child actor did not appear in a few scenes in the 3rd episode. The appearance fee is 3 “Please decide whether you want to give me a full episode or only shoot two episodes. I only work for what I get.”

“her.”

I knew it was bold, but I never thought it would be like this. Although he was told that he had to accompany his mother to sign the contract, he insisted that he had been entrusted with it and even brought his mother’s stamp and identification card. And the elaborate words were impressive.

‘Producer, do you know why people at Namhang Market are so passionate? Except for public holidays when the market is closed, if you are lazy even for a day, you will not be able to do business. Even if you open a fish stall, other people can come and grab it. Right now, the producer telling me I have to bring my mother is the same as telling me to fold the stall. ‘You don’t want to see our mother and son lying on the street, do you?’

This is an opponent that cannot be defeated with words.

“Okay, I’ll clearly resolve the appearance fee issue. So, let’s film until the third episode.”

“Wouldn’t it be better to include it now as a special clause in the contract rather than a verbal promise?”

“I can’t win against you with words. So let’s do as you say.”

When Yoongi raised his hands, England smiled brightly. If you look at how he looks now, he’s a young boy, but if you look at him talking, it feels like he’s talking to someone his age who has gone through many hardships.

“By the way, Young-Kuk, are you good at acting in front of the camera? You just memorize the script and you’re good at it, so I’m not worried. It’s your first time acting. I don’t know what I’m telling you, but I put a lot of effort into this work.”

Yoo Myung felt like he was possessed by a ghost the day he faced the script reading in England. It was as if my intuition struck me like a thunderbolt that I couldn’t let go of this child. After that, I was so desperate that I immediately picked up the phone and asked for understanding from the originally scheduled child actor and even canceled the casting. In the end, I was told off by a casting director who was close to me because of that, but I still think that that judgment was right at the time.

“Are you scared?”

“Did you even read my thoughts?”

“No, it’s natural if you’re in the PD’s position. There will be not only cameras, but also staff, and a lot of people flocking to watch the outdoor filming. How can a new actor, or even a child, overcome the pressure of such a scene? Even if they end up crying on set. Are you thinking about what will happen if it explodes and delays filming?”

“England, have you been inside my head for a moment? How can you understand people’s minds like a ghost?”

“I saw it a few years ago, and there was a documentary that aired on the subject of broadcasting station producers. There, I saw the difficulties faced by producers. People say that working with child actors is a nightmare or something. But don’t worry too much.”

The boy picked up a copy of the contract and elaborated.

“But he knows business ethics.”

* * *

The heat of Namhang Market is more intense than the scorching sun of a summer day, with the cries of seagulls forming a harmony with the sea notes. Among them, a boy who has attracted all the attention of tourists is constantly teasing his body.

“Hey, don’t just pass by there, take a look. In the upper regions, you can see fresh live fish like this. You can eat it grilled or steamed, and if you put the remaining head in the soup, you’ll literally be emptying your soju box today!”

As the boy, who seemed to have never had a glass of soju before, let out a realistic exclamation, laughter erupted from all over the place. The tourists were immersed in the touts as if they were already watching a play. Like a situation on a thrust stage, tourists approached the main character as if fascinated.

“How can a kid speak so well? Everyone here likes fish. Today, while I was on a business trip to Busan, he asked me to buy a fresh fish. What should I buy?”

“Good luck. Today is a lucky day. You came here knowing that the freshest live fish with the best water is available at Namhang Market. Look at this guy’s eyes. He swims in the sea and jumps out. Just look at him and see if this red basin is now the sea. The child looks confused. Fill it with ice and I will take responsibility for packaging it.”

“Haha. Are the kids in Yeongdochon really this good at talking?”

“I’m not good at everything. I’ll give this guy a small thing as a service!”

When the bustling Namhang Market ended and evening fell, the mother looked at her son with sad eyes. A child who touched fish every day with his fern-like hand while pulling the cart and did not say a single word of displeasure even though he must have been full of the fishy smell.

“Son, are you really capable of filming that drama or something?”

It is a single room full of yellow wallpaper and mold. The mother began speaking with concern in a place that seemed to be crowded with two mothers and children. It was natural for him to be worried, no matter how good and smart he was, when he met with unknown broadcasting station officials from Seoul and signed a contract. At best, isn’t he a child who just turned fourteen?

“I’ll do my best, Mom. You don’t have to worry.”

“When do you start filming?”

“They say the first filming will begin in a month.”

“What did your role say?”

“My name is Kim Ha-jin, and I’m a kid from Busan.”

My mother smiled faintly as she looked at her son, who said that he was a kid and that his role was a kid. But even that smile couldn’t erase the worry in my heart.

“Do you want to become an actor?”

England understood his mother’s concerns. Didn’t you see with your own eyes the unknown actor named ‘Song Jeong-seok’ whom you met a few days ago? I feel sorry for him, but there were very few gorgeous actors on TV. The mother was worried that her son might end up living that kind of life. Because I know how bleak the world is to live only chasing dreams.

‘Mom, but in a few years, that guy will be on TV a lot.’

He said while holding his mother’s hand.

“No, just this once.”

* * *

I scribbled a wooden stick on the sand of an empty playground under the light of a lonely street lamp in the early morning when no one was looking. The line drawn with the Chinese character signifies the movement line of the camera. In your past life, you worked as an actor, but didn’t you escape that life as if you were running away? The words about his life dependent on alcohol to survive were enough to make him forget his sense of duty as an actor.

“You have to pay for it.”

Once you say something, you must keep it. It wasn’t a matter of young or old. Because I know that the moment an actor goes on stage, he has to assimilate into his role. I had already replayed the script that writer Choi Eun-sook gave me hundreds, if not thousands, of times in my head. The steps you take along the path seem very light, but they only feel heavy.

‘I was criticized a lot.’

Unlike theater stages, in the case of dramas, acting outside of the frame is not allowed, so the filming movement lines are marked on the floor. This is why actors who boasted outstanding acting in plays often disappear into obscurity when they appear in dramas.

Broadcast acting and theater have different paths. Tone and vocalization can be corrected with a lot of effort, but appearing naturally on camera and performing is something that cannot be understood without experience. Moreover, wasn’t it decades ago? Only in the future, when CG has been developed, were the filming paths clearly displayed, but now they are simply marked with inconspicuous objects and small transparent stickers.

‘Sir, how can you act so naturally?’

This is a question I asked Song Jeong-seok in his past life. This was because I realized firsthand how difficult it was to assimilate to the role and despaired. However, Song Jeong-seok did not give an answer to that question. Just as many branches bloom from one root, each person’s acting path is different, so it took a long time and many roles to realize that fact.

‘Just one more time.’

The answer he gave to his mother’s concerned question was also a request to himself. I will no longer struggle in smoke. It was an inner promise that I would no longer hold on to empty dreams and follow the script in search of my desires. Just as there is no paradise because of human greed and desire, the same was true for acting.

Since there is a living being called an actor, there could be no end to acting. If I were to become an actor again, I would be caught up in my selfishness and desire and try to see the end of my non-existent acting career. I did not forget my intention to live happily, living twice. My acting career will end with this role. But if the ending is beautiful, there will be no regrets.

Let’s take steps following the movement path of the character galji (之).

It was as if I could see the other character in front of my eyes. From his days as a minor role to a famous actor. This is a practice technique that I have used many times. I create my own stage and act on it as both director and actor. As if I had returned to the old days of actor Jang Young-guk, I quietly closed my eyes and listened to my surroundings.

Even the sound of the streetlights flickering and the cool breeze of a summer day captured my entire body as if everything were in the background. All my senses became sensitive, as if I could never forget a habit that was engraved in my bones. As if clapsticks on the slate were colliding.

The moment you take a step.

The boy became Kim Ha-jin.